Misbehave

In case anyone was wondering, the sex act between Naruto and Sasuke in Naruto’s hotel room was a blowjob. A homophobic slur is used in this chapter, and the homophobic views of a particular character are expressed.

Temari’s shrieking pierces my ears. Kiba cuddles Akamaru. Has he been crying? I remember two months ago; a howling message in my voicemail. “Akamaru’s missing, Sasuke. I let him out, and it’s been four hours. He’s deaf, we can’t call out to him, he can’t hear.” He was crying as we canvassed the neighborhood. The dog is pretty much a surrogate child for Kiba. We found him pretty quickly after I came home. Kiba’s had him on a short leash since then, literally. “Hey. He go missing again?”
“Yeah, he escaped through the neighbor’s loose fence planks. He’s fine now. I nailed the gate shut.” I nod and clap Kiba on the shoulder, then pat the two-year-old dog on the head. Shikamaru and Neji follow me inside.

Temari screeches at Hinata and the baby cries. Hinata looks really scared. “Stop screeching at my girlfriend, you miserable cocksucking bitch,” I thunder. She does and glowers at me. “I never wanted you here. You’re an irresponsible, stupid, trashy slut whose only motive for having babies is to get the welfare check and food stamps because you flunked out of high school and can’t get a job. You’re manipulative, greedy, conceited, you never say ‘thank you’ and you treat Shino like shit. His parents don’t like you, no one here likes you and we all seriously doubt the paternity of your baby. I can’t stand you! Get the fuck out of my condo and take your demon spawn, your misguided boyfriend and your shit with you!” She’s so stunned that someone finally stood up to her, that she gathers her things immediately and without saying a word. Ino and Sakura watch her to make sure she doesn’t steal anything. I calm Hinata down and she goes to call her parents after staring at the hickey on my neck.

I toss all my clothes into the wash and start it. After putting the suitcases and backpack away, I look at the dress on my bed. “Hey Sakura?” I call. She marches into the doorway, grumbling about Temari. “Neji’s watching her with Ino. Make this quick.”
“I put the clothes in the wash except for the dress.” I point to it.
“Oh. I’ll take it. Thanks, Sasuke.”
“Yeah. It said it was dry-clean only. I’ll give you the rest of the clothes once they’re dry.”
“How was—where’d you go, anyway?”
“We went to a convention. It was so much fun.”
“Oh, that’s good.” She picks up the dress. “Ino’s probably ready to kill that bitch. Thanks for cussing her out and kicking her out. You’ll all be able to sleep well again.”
I nod as she exits my bedroom.

A truck rumbles outside. Shino barges into my bedroom. “What the fuck, Sasuke. Why is my girlfriend hollering as strange people are loading our things onto a moving truck?”
I tell him. He turns pale. “You can’t do this.”
“Remember that thing you signed awhile back when you first moved here about asking al of us if a romantic partner could move in before telling them it was okay?” I know he does. He nods. “And the penalty was that if you went and broke the rule and had anyone move in, you’d both get kicked out?” More slow nodding. “This is my property, Shino. If you, Temari and her spawn don’t leave as soon as your belongings are loaded, I’ll—”
“I get it.”

Now there’s only four people. No baby. “Things should be easier now,” Sakura looks happier than I’ve seen her in a long time. “Hey, let’s go out to dinner.”
“You gonna use your employee discount for us, Chouji?”
He laughs. “You suck,” Ino grumbles. “Can’t think of a better insult?” Kiba jeers. She punches him. “Ow. Bitch.”
“Oh, go—” We all turn to look at her, surprised that such coarse language even exists.
“What’s your problem, Ino?”
“Nothing,” she growls, stomping into the kitchen. We hear her turn the faucet on. Hinata starts after her, but Sakura pushes her away. “Whoa, whoa—”
“Hey, when did you get that hickey on your neck?”
Oh, shit. “I have to—”
“Hey, don’t corner him. Let’s just go to dinner. I’ll pay.”
“I have to check my e-mail and phone first. My mom might have called,” I lie.

I rush into my room and log on to my e-mail. Naruto wrote me saying he’d left an extremely awkward voicemail. My hands shake as I punch in the pass code. He contacted me. This weekend was real. I’ll tell Hinata after dinner, then…something…to everyone else. What the fuck have I done?

I haven’t eaten a dinner that rich in a long time. My friends express similar statements as we walk inside the house. “Feel better, Ino?”
“No.”
“How ‘bout you, Sakura?”
“Everything’s great. I’m sorry I pushed Hinata.” Her arms are crossed and she scowls.
“Man, what is WITH these two?”
“PMS.”
“Right.”
The two of them say their good-nights and depart at the door. Shikamaru and Neji remind me to tell Itachi about this weekend. Like I’d forget. I cross my arms, glare and say as much. They laugh and depart after I promise to watch the game this weekend with them.

“Is it weird to eat at the same place you work at?”
“No, not really.”
“Hey, can you make dog treats for Akamaru?”
“Uh, sure. They’re probably going to be sourdough slices cooked in bacon or chicken grease until I figure out something better though.”
“Cool! He’ll like that. Thanks, Chouji.”

“Hinata.”
She smiles. I’m not fooled. She knows the hickey’s there. Oh, this is going to take forever—I can’t figure out what to say. “I went to an anime convention this weekend.”
“You don’t even like anime.”
“I know. Shika and Neji convinced me that I should because it’d be a respite from Temari and all the other things that have been stressing me out.” She nods and my stomach sinks, or so it feels, as I realize that was the only thing she needed to know: it’s obvious I cheated. She just needed to know where. “I didn’t plan on it. We met the first day and it just—”
“I don’t want to hear that it was some random stranger you had sex with,” she’s starting to cry. “That’s what happened, okay.” She pauses. I haven’t said anything since she interrupted me. She takes a shaky breath. “What was her name, Sasuke?”
“His name is Naruto.”
Emitting a strangled yowl as tears pour down her face, she slaps me with all the strength she can muster. My head turns to the side. My eyes water and the side of my face stings. Hinata rushes out of the room.

Kiba barges in. “Sasuke—what happened to your face?”
“Hinata slapped me.”
Kiba looks flabbergasted. “SHE hit YOU?”
“Thanks, Kiba.”
“Why?”
The heat in my face is receding. I should feel guilty, indignant...I don’t feel anything. “I cheated on her.” He shakes his head. “That’s low.” The silence stretches on for a full two minutes before he turns and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. I flop backward onto the bed, one hand over my eyes. While this is what I expected, I didn’t anticipate how I would feel.

“Sasuke? Sasuke.” Naruto said my name like that too. “What’s wrong?” When I was younger, I idolized my brother. I wanted to look like him, walk like him, talk like him, be like him. It would seem I have part of my childhood wish: my brother has sex with men, one in particular for the past three months. I’ve done stuff with a guy. The phone crackles. “Itachi, are you still there?”
“Yeah.”
How do I even—“I went to an anime convention this weekend.”
“Did you have fun?”
“I went with Shika and Neji,” I rattle, ignoring his question. “They have photos of me taking you up on the bet. I borrowed some of Sakura’s clothes.” Now, I falter. “I met some really cool guys.”
“Are they from here?”
“Yeah.” Silence. “So, how’s Deidara?”
“Are you on drugs?” My brother’s voice rarely conveys his emotions so clearly. Surprise, disdain. “No,” I grumble. “Since when is it a federal crime for me to ask about someone important to you?”
“It’s not, it’s just…rare.”

Silence. “He’s fine.”
“Good.” Silence.
“I’ll get you the gift cards tonight.”
“Itachi?”
“Yes, Sasuke.” He’s always been patient with me.
“When did you realize you were gay?”
“I was nine and realized I’d never had a crush on a girl.”
“That’s not fair.” Good job, Sasuke. I didn’t mean to say that.
“What’s going on?”
“One of the guys at the convention and I—we—I cheated on Hinata. It wasn’t exactly sex.”
“So a stranger gives you and orgasm and because it’s a guy, you run to your token gay guy, your older brother.”
“Do you have to be such an asshole about this?”
“Takes one to know one.”
“Itachi!”
“Sasuke! You did something sexual with a man! Stop making a big deal out of it, and if you tell your friends, tell them the truth.”
“It’s a big deal to me, Itachi, and I already told Hinata.”

I exhale heavily and inhale deeply. “Just stop by tomorrow with the gift cards.” I stuff the phone in my pocket and slam my bedroom door. My mail from the last five days is on the table, along with some of Kiba’s. I gather the envelopes addressed to me and flick through them. Junk mail. Junk mail. Pre-approved credit cards. I’ll cross-shred them and check to see if my identity has been stolen. My bills are current. My credit is excellent. Good. Being stingy has really helped me. Bank statements. I’ll call them to double-check that the mail is valid.

Kiba goes through his stuff even faster. “What’s that, your hundredth letter of appreciation from the pet store this month?”
“No.” Akamaru whines. “Hang on, Maru, I’ll take you for a walk in a bit.” He disappears into the living room, probably to the corner where his stuff is stashed. He returns with the thin blue leash around his neck.

There’s no use in keeping this from him. Hinata’s going to tell him if I don’t.
“Kiba.”
“Huh.”
“It was with a guy.” He straightens and turns to face me, immediately understanding. “That’s just sick, man. You should’ve told me before I moved in.” He’s pale now, shaking his head. “I have to—I can’t stay here if you’re going to be a fag.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t, Sasuke.” He takes a deep breath. “I’ll be back in ten minutes from walking Akamaru. I’ll go pack then, and leave. We’ll still be friends, and I hope you’ll still be able to pay your rent. I just can’t live with you. It’s too weird.” He’s out the door before I protest. Damn this all.

His stuff is packed in twenty minutes flat and his car tires squeal as he drives away. I really want to talk to Itachi. I have homework. An hour later, as I finish sending it to my professor over e-mail, my phone vibrates. Our conversation is short. Itachi is coming over to give me the gift cards and he reminds me that we’re visiting our parents tomorrow. “Tell them you and Hinata aren’t doing well,” he suggests after handing me the three pieces of plastic and laughing over the photos. “They’ll be happy.”

They are. They smile and encourage me to find someone else. I shake my head petulantly and finish my food.

I talk to Naruto on a regular basis now. It happened. “You’re still straight, Sasuke, just on the down low,” he agrees with me, then teases me. When this comes up, the conversation is always the same.

A week passes. My friends know now. Sakura yelled at me and I shouted back. Same thing with Ino. There’s so much tension. Hinata and I break up. She cries and moves out. A month passes. I’m still adjusting to my circumstances when I fall behind on my bills. I don’t have a job. Chouji, Ino, and Sakura can’t all pay for the condo, their tuition and textbooks all at once. We lose the condo. I stay with Neji and Shikamaru and get a job. Sakura and Ino move back in with their parents. Chouji stays with a friend of his from work. I get a two-bedroom condo and we all move back in together, even Kiba. Chouji cooks dinner to celebrate. I wear the babydoll shirt I bought at the con until Ino informs me what the phrase ‘I love yaoi’ means. I remove the shirt immediately, much to Ino’s delight, and stuff it in a dresser drawer.

Months pass. Naruto visits sometimes. He gets along well with everyone, and they encourage him to come over more often. Graduation nears. Naruto and I officially start dating. I maintain my ‘I am a two at the most on the Kinsey scale’ attitude until we have sex on his bed. Then, it’s ‘that hurt, I never want to do it again and I’m still straight.’ That attitude persisted for a week. Naruto’s very patient. So are my friends. Kiba’s still a homophobe, but becoming more tolerant. The day he subtly apologizes, I’m accepted in to graduate school. Naruto graduates a week later.

A week after that, it’s my (and Kiba’s, and Chouji’s, as well as Sakura’s and Ino’s) turn. Graduations are boring except for the speeches. This time is no exception. I’m always one of the last ones to walk. My parents are always proud of me, and Itachi always brags to his friends. My parents still don’t know about Naruto, except that he’s a friend. I don’t think I’ll ever let them know. I’ve already met Kakashi and Iruka. I like them.

I walk, accept the small, leather folder-like thing that holds my fake degree, shake hands, walk offstage and pray that my real degree will arrive quickly in the mail. I’ve graduated. It’s time for me to make something of myself.