I Don't Think You Understand

I am blushing. I am really blushing. I am blushing so much that I'm surprised I haven't fainted from the extra blood in my head yet. I have had people tell me they love me, and that my writing style is perfect, and that my grammar/spelling rock...wow. I don't know what to say except thank you very much for liking my stuff!

And as for crawling across a lava field on bare knees---PLEASE DON'T!

As we all have known from the beginning and have repeated ad nauseum, I do NOT own Naruto.

Please enjoy.

***||***

Many things can hide in a grassy field. Flowers, chipmunks, the occasional enemy ninja coming to slit a throat or fill someone with steel; any of those things can take refuge in such a place and appreciate its beauty. It’s easier than one would think to hide in such an open location, with only waving strands of plant matter for concealment. The trick was to hold completely, or nearly, still.

Kakashi only had that ability on the rarest of occasions.

It didn’t seem to matter as he silently observed the chuunin of his focus going through a slow pantomine of a traditional kata. The man was only wearing his open vest and pants. Kakashi had seen him take them off earlier, and had promptly had to excuse himself to (once again) either take his dick out of his pants or to deliberately stub his toe to make it soften again.

Annoying little thing has a mind of its own.

Deciding to bring more of his concerns to Iruka hadn’t been an immediate thing. Getting himself out of that hand trap had, as expected, injured him to the point where he’d had to go see Tsunade-sama again so she could reattach the parts that had nearly come off, and it hadn’t been until after three days had passed with him in a hospital bed growing more and more antsy by the second that she had deemed him ready to leave.

Having not seen the chuunin for almost the full week at this rate, Kakashi almost felt like he was going to tear his hair out, but he had a better idea as to why this was now. Watching the chuunin step his graceful way through the kata, a part of him he hadn’t even been aware of relaxed again.

He had felt this same curious loosening when in the presence of his teammates and his students, and quietly acknowledged the fact that Iruka was now one of his precious people. Content with seeing him, happy to be in his presence, determined to keep him safe no matter what...the man had wormed his way into his heart.

I think he’s had me since the first death-threat.

Only thing left to do now was get some of those strange questions answered, and since Iruka looked as if he was about ready to stop, he’d be able to soon.

Waiting as the man finished and stretched himself, he wandered over in what he hoped was a leisurely manner. “Yo, Iruka-san!” He called.

The head of brown hair, which had been staring off into space, jerked around to face Kakashi. Seeing who it was, he relaxed. “Hatake-san,” he greeted back, shrugging his vest off in one smooth motion. “It’s been a while.”

Kakashi almost didn’t hear the second sentence, as all his available brainpower had abruptly been taken over with the need to stare at the now fully exposed chest. Muscles rippled between the dark skin, more obvious where the scars were. The nipples were a slightly lighter color. The sweat made the skin gleam...

“Uh, Hatake-san?”

Shaking his head, Kakashi forced his eye to smile. Gah! What the hell am I thinking? Ask him first, ask him first! “Yes, sorry,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with the hand currently not discretely adjusting his pants. “I was hoping I could talk to you? Somewhere private?”

The relaxed expression the chuunin wore suddenly became wary, but it cleared up shortly after. “Certainly,” he replied. “Where would be a good place?”

Kakashi felt himself turning red. “Your apartment would work.” Fuck it, what’s the point of wearing a mask when people can already tell when I’m embarrassed...

“Okay,” Iruka replied. “Follow me? Or...”--the expression turned wry--”wait, you know the way already.”
“Err, yes,” Kakashi murmured, inwardly cursing himself for the darkening of his blush.

He waited for the chuunin to pick up his things before he offered to transport them both there, which the chuunin agreed to. Taking a deep breath to bolster his courage, his hands whirled in the requisite seals, his mind fixed on Iruka’s apartment.

***||***

Iruka’s inner dialogue started up somewhere around the time the jounin had first appeared to him in the field. So, he wants to talk to me in my apartment. Great. I can work with that...but what does one offer to one’s stalker? Tea? Juice? A nice sleeping potion? “Is there anything you’d like from the kitchen, Hatake-san?”

Sighing, he waited for the question to sink in. I think this is what women feel like when men stare at their boobs. He certainly didn’t think his chest was all that interesting, but from the looks of it, Kakashi thought precisely the opposite. Guess it’s good to know he’s interested, provided he’s figured out what that means...

“Oh? Err, sorry,” the jounin apologized yet again, skin around his eye turning a darker shade of red than it had been. “Some water would be very nice, thank you.”

Nodding, Iruka deliberately dropped all of the clothing in his arms onto the floor and took his time in walking to the kitchen. He felt the jounin’s eye burning into his back and somewhat lower as he did. A small smile graced the chuunin’s lips. Maybe he does. Still, I wonder what he’s here for?

Returning after gathering the requested water and presenting a cup to his guest, he sprawled carelessly into the only recliner, absently throwing his right leg over the armrest. Kakashi had taken a seat on the couch across from him, he noticed. Wow. If he sat any straighter, he’d break his back.

“Now, what is this all about?” Iruka decided it would simply be best to cut to the chase. He didn’t mind whether the other man stayed in his apartment or went away (though it’d be a shame if he left, his libido murmured softly), but he was curious as to what the jounin wanted to say.

“Ahhh, well....one second,” Kakashi muttered...before whirling around, yanking down his mask and gulping down the contents of the cup as if he had just spend three days in Sand Country.

Iruka raised an eyebrow. Wow, think he’s nervous?

After yanking the mask up, Kakashi faced him again, blushing a little less hotly. “You...you know I’m attracted to you, right?”

The eyebrow went up a little further. “Yes,” Iruka replied neutrally.

“I...I know what it means now,” Kakashi continued haltingly. The fading blush returned with full, if not greater, strength.

“Okay.” Iruka knew he had to be careful. He knew he found the jounin interesting, but given what the man had told him about not knowing much about attraction and stuff, he figured that---

“How do two men have sex?’

---Yup. He doesn’t know about that either.

Iruka felt himself blush a bit. “Well, hopefully they get to know each other first,” he said, horrified at hearing himself squeak a bit.

“Ah,” Kakashi said with a nod. “Then, will you show me? You know me.”

WHAT?!

“I don’t think you understand something here, Hatake-san,” Iruka began.
“Kakashi.”
“Huh?”
“My name is Kakashi. Use it, please.”

“Kakashi-san,” Iruka said firmly. “I am not going to show you anything tonight.”

The visible eye, if it was even possible, pouted. “But, why not?” Kakashi asked softly. “You like me.”

Iruka blinked. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You like me,” Kakashi repeated, as if savoring the flavor of those words. “You kissed me.”

“Um, yes,” Iruka said slowly. He was beginning to see the bigger picture here. Kakashi, now knowing more about attraction and the like, wanted to know how it worked between two men...but was still so naive about how to go about it that he automatically assumed that Iruka would reciprocate. I have no intention of NOT reciprocating, but he doesn’t fucking know enough!

Briefly, Iruka wished it had been a woman who had caught Kakashi’s eye because it would have been easier that way. Easier to explain, easier to control, easier to think about. It wouldn’t have been easier on him, but at least he wouldn’t feel as if he was dancing on kunai-tips when he attempted to dig himself out of the whole he sensed was starting to grow around his feet.

Iruka was beginning to wish he had put on his damn shirt before allowing Kakashi to enter his home. It wouldn’t really help anything, but it would have made him feel a little more secure.

“Generally, before getting into a physical relationship, the people in question go out on dates and outings,” Iruka said carefully. Step lightly, Umino, or you’ll find yourself in a nice position sooner than you want. “The issues of...the more physical aspects of a relationship don’t come up until both people involved feel comfortable in the other’s presence.”

“I feel comfortable in yours,” Kakashi interjected somewhat plaintively. The blue eye looked guilelessly at him.

“That’s good,” Iruka sighed, “but I’m not sure I feel comfortable in yours, yet.”

If an eye could look disappointed (how does that eye make all those expressions, anyway?), Kakashi’s did. “But you kissed me,” he said in a faint whisper.

“Yes, I did,” Iruka replied, feeling his sanity start to break a little. “I feel comfortable around you enough to do that. Not much else yet.”

Hope returned to the blue eye, making it glow. “Then you’ll consider it?”

Does he even know what he’s really asking for, in all this? “I will consider it,” Iruka said. “But before I do anything physical with you, we’re going to do like I said, and get to know each other first.”

Kakashi nodded. “I can do that. I want to know more about you anyway.”

Iruka smiled brightly at him, noting the way the eye widened as he did. “Good, because I want the same of you.”

The eye smiled. “Good.”

A silence grew between them, growing more and more uncomfortable as Iruka drank the rest of his water and Kakashi fiddled with his cup. Looking uneasily at each other, they leapt up of an accord.

“I should get going--”
“Yes,” Iruka said at almost the same time. “I’ll show you out.”

Courteously opening the door for his guest, Iruka suddenly blushed. “Come a little closer?” He asked.
Kakashi did. “What is it?”

Before he lost his nerve, Iruka kissed the startled jounin on his mask-covered lips again, careful to keep it chaste (not that I want to open-mouth kiss a mask anyway). He was pleased to find Kakashi responded with some hesitant pressure, but made sure to break the contact before it got too long. “That’s how we say good night,” Iruka murmured, suddenly finding the doorknob a thing of fascination.

“Ah, er, that’s fine,” Kakashi mumbled, inhaling a bit loudly. “Good night?”
“Good night,” Iruka replied. A jump later, the jounin was on a roof and speeding out of sight.

Shutting the door and going back to his recliner, he sprawled across it, staring blankly at his ceiling. I seem to have a boyfriend now. This is going to be interesting. First thing I’m doing is teaching him about a relationship, and then...then I’ll give him a lesson in sex.

Lazily, Iruka smiled at the ceiling as some very pleasant mental images came to him, but before he could indulge himself, he had a thought.

Is he EVER going to take that damn mask off so I can kiss him for real?!

***||***

Kakashi's not a child. If we needed proof that he isn't...well, he is tall, over twenty, and very very nice to look at. However, he's had no practical experience in a relationship with someone, and getting thrown down, stripped from butt to feet, and ridden until the sun set and rose again isn't either practical or likely to happen. He's also had no experience in guile in this case; how is he supposed to know about all the little games and stuff people play when they're trying to get someone's interest? Being direct certainly works, but it's not something that can be taught, really. Kakashi's parents would have started to introduce him to all the little gestures and looks, but alas, they died.

Now, it's a little too late for someone to teach him about the "game" of love, even for a person as awesome and smart as Iruka is.

Iruka, though...I've always seen Iruka as more of an up-front type. If he likes someone, I have the feeling that he would have the balls to march up to said person and tell them, so he doesn't find that aspect of Kakashi's personality to be disturbing...but he is disturbed about the man asking him for sex when he's not had any actual, consensual (though Iruka doesn't know about that yet) sex with either gender.

It's not to say that Kakashi won't pick up on things of a romantic nature quickly, but there will have to be a lot of careful stepping and explaining.

...I think my brain hurts now. It's a good kind of hurt.

Keep me blushing; give me a review, please?