For the Love of His Son

Disclaimer: Not mine. Bummer.
Summary: Lord Sasuke Uchiha believes that he has lost something precious to him and struggles to convince himself everyday that it didn‘t exist. What will he do when a blond haired peasant arrives at his doorstep claiming he has something the Uchiha “misplaced.” (SasuNaru)

Author’s Note (aka Whine of Embarrassment): Now that I’m further into the story, I spend quality time kicking myself about saying something here or not saying something there… I mean really. How many times have you been reading and said, huh… that doesn’t make any sense. Well, my kind readers, get ready to point accusingly and scream “Holy, Plot Holes, Batman!” because this chapter is a doozy and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it but push through and hope you all forgive me. Oh and remember… first story! First time! Best excuse in the world. (Michele bows head blushing… also takes mental note to never write another story. What will my excuse be then???)


For the Love of His Son
Chapter 9


Jiraiya watched as a pretty little milk maid strolled across the back half of the courtyard. One would think that during this time of year she would be wearing more clothing. But, what didn’t hurt her, certainly didn’t hurt him and he smiled, throwing her a rather juvenile… um, sophisticated finger wave.


The sound of Tsunade’s hand hitting flesh snapped Jiraiya’s head back around. On instinct, he brought his hand to his face and waited for the pain to come. It never did. So, she hadn’t hit him then. Who could the unfortunate recipient be?


“You are a liar!” Tsunade hissed. Jiraiya looked around to see the Uchiha holding a boy… she had slapped a boy! Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth and by the dazed look in the brat’s eyes, Jiraiya knew that Tsunade hadn’t held back. What the hell had he missed?!


The Uchiha lord’s eyes swirled crimson and black. The other knights in the courtyard moved, taking up position behind the dark haired man, their stances not outwardly offensive but hostile none the less.


This wasn’t good. Who could this blond brat be that he had the respect and protection of the entire Uchiha court. So much so, that they seemed more than willing (hell, the dog boy in the front looked down right giddy) to take on the Fifth Hokage of Fire Country.


“Hokage-sama,” Uchiha snarled, “You will explain your actions.”


“Are you challenging me, you little whelp?!” Tsunade yelled.


Jiraiya stepped forward and placed a calming hand on Tsunade’s shoulder. “Calm down now, everyone. We’re all friends here.”


“Last time I looked, ‘friends’ didn’t slap guests in their ‘friends’ home!” Kiba spat out. He threw a worried glance over his shoulder at the blond boy and then returned his glare to the Hokage.


“Be that as it may, perhaps we need to talk about this before, whatever this is, gets even more out of hand.” Jiraiya could feel Tsunade’s tension and was concerned by her severe show of emotions. This hadn’t happened in a very long time.


Kiba made a mental note to ask Sasuke to put “we need to talk” on the “Words We Don’t Use List”. At the top of the fucking list.


“Lord Jiraiya, the Hokage,” Sasuke’s sneer removed all pretense of respect, “will not be allowed in my castle or near my… Naruto, until she explains her actions. Now.” Sasuke felt Naruto’s head fall limp against his chest. The boy was still awake, but obviously hurt.


“I will not be spoken to…” Tsunade stepped forward menacingly, only to be stopped by Jiraiya’s strong grip on her arm.


“Well, Uchiha, you have my word that she will not be hurting anyone else for the time being. Isn’t that right, Hokage?” He slightly tightened his grip on Tsunade’s shoulder.


Sasuke was pulled from his glaring contest with the two Sannin by the insistent tug on his sleeve.


“Teme. Teme, I think, I need to…” Naruto lurched forward, falling to his knees and threw up.


“What the hell? Kid!” Kiba ran to his side, just as Sasuke pulled the boy against him. Anger flashing in his eyes, Kiba addressed the Hokage, “How hard did you hit him? All he said was his name!”


“Exactly. This boy is not who he says he is because Naruto Uzumaki died twelve years ago.” Tsunade said, staring at the shaking boy in the Uchiha lord’s arms.


“Holy shit.“ Jiraiya muttered, really looking at the boy, his eyes growing wide, “Things just got interesting.”


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Sasuke had no choice but to agree that the ‘discussion’ be taken inside. Naruto needed to be inside where he would be more comfortable and could be seen Hinata. Ironic really, the greatest healer in generations stood behind him, but she was responsible ‘for’ Naruto’s pain, instead of being its reliever.


Picking the boy up, he tried to organize the storm of thoughts whirling in his brain as he walked into the castle. Fuck, could nothing be easy? Sasuke wasn’t sure what one might call a ‘fear of courtyards’ but if anyone deserved to have it, it was Naruto. The dobe hadn’t been in the courtyard once without the outcome being painful, ending in a “talk” or, the more common result, both.


The Hokage said that ‘Naruto Uzumaki’ was dead. Inner Chibi Sasuke slapped his hand against his forehead. That phrase opened up a whole slew of questions, problems and perhaps answers. Sasuke adjusted the dobe, discretely nuzzling blond hair. As talks went, the young lord could only hope that maybe this one would actually result in more answers than questions.


No one noticed Shikamaru walking quietly behind the group, head bent forward, his fingers pressed together in the shape of a diamond.


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Deciding to give the study a much earned break, Sasuke lead the large group into the library. He sat Naruto on the chair in front of the fireplace and watched as the boy immediately leaned his head back against the chair.


“Damn, that woman is scary.” Naruto mumbled. “Oooouch.”


Because no one had ever said that patience was one of her stronger virtues, Tsunade sat on the far couch and immediately started the conversation, “Tell me who you really are, brat. Where did you hear that name?”


Naruto release a pained groan and slowly tilting his head forward. When blue eyes met chocolate brown, Naruto smirked.


“You know, I don’t think I will.” All head’s turned to the blond. What had he said? Yes, the Hokage had slapped him. Yes, they were all a little irritated with her. But to blatantly refuse her request like that?


“I would like to try something new. I’m done defending myself to every damn person that walks in this castle. What would you say to me asking the questions this time?” Naruto leaned back into the chair, closing his eyes. “Plus, on a more personal note, I’m seeing four of you… which one would I answer to?”


“I feel for you, brat.”


“Jiraiya!” Tsunade screamed at the man sitting next to her, hands curling into fists. This visit was not going according to plan. And where the hell was the sake?!


“What?! I do. I mean, you’ve been hitting me all my life…”


“Jiraiya!”


“Please,” Naruto’s eyes squeezed tighter, tan fingers coming up to rub his aching temples, “Is the screeching really necessary?”


Sasuke casually put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder and began to gently rub the back of the boy’s neck.


“Oh, teme.” Naruto breathed, “Thank you.” At the words, the tone of his voice and the flashbacks they inspired, Sasuke was mortified to feel himself blush. Oh, the shame!


“Huh, so troublesome. Naruto?”


Naruto lazily flopped his head toward the voice, opening his eyes half mass to see who was talking.


“You know I’m loathed to do this, but perhaps you would allow me to start the questioning?” Shikamaru stepped closer to Naruto, hands in pockets, face devoid of any level of excitement. Naruto almost smiled at the consistency of the man.


“Be my guest.” Naruto answered, halfheartedly waving his hand in the Hokage’s direction, eyes falling shut again.


“Don’t fall asleep, dobe.” Sasuke whispered, ruffling golden spikes before continuing his gentle touches.


“Hokage-sama,” the bored tone bringing everyone’s attention back to the reason they were in the library, “I think you should start at the beginning.”


“Beginning? Beginning of what, Nara?”


“Well, the beginning where you walked into a chakra ravaged field and took a baby from his dead father’s side.”


Shocked gasps and wide eyes darted between Tsunade and the lazy knight. Except for one. Sitting in his chair, eyes still closed, Naruto smiled knowingly. Good place to start, Shikamaru.


“How do you… can you know that?” Tsunade sputtered, sharing a sideways glance with the wide eyed Jiraiya.


“Well, you see, the troublesome one has answered a lot of questions in the time he has been here. One thing he mentioned is not remembering much prior to his fifth year but for the memories of a dark haired caregiver who called him Naruto Uzumaki,” Shikamaru smirked as the Hokage’s face paled, “Kakashi has also shared some of his earlier experiences under the Fourth Hokage, specifically his role in the sealing of the demon Kyuubi. A demon that we know Naruto carries.” Shikamaru smiled slightly… boy, did they know.


Tsunade’s eyes just got wider, looking between the speaking knight and the blond boy sitting silently with his eyes closed.


“I found it interesting that you knew Naruto’s name, when even the Fourth himself didn’t know or have time to name him. Only someone who knew the boy after he had ‘died’ in that clearing could possibly know what the caregiver, or perhaps you, yourself, named the baby.”


“Actually, smartass,” Jiraiya said, entering the conversation, “Minato did name him. He and his wife told me what they planned to name the boy before his birth and we stuck with that.”


“Huh.” Shikamaru shrugged, turning his head to stare out the window, “Regardless, ‘we’ know what happened after Naruto turned five and ’died’ according to you and ‘you’ know what happened before. It seems sensible we should share our information.”


Naruto finally opened his eyes, sitting up straight. Turning his head to the side, his lips brushing lightly against Sasuke’s wrist, Naruto brought his hand up and stopped the lord’s soothing touches. “Thank you.”


“Hn.” Sasuke held on to Naruto’s hand, gently lacing their fingers and perched on the arm of Naruto’s chair.


“Seems like a fair trade to me, Hokage-sama.” Sasuke said, looking directly into her eyes.


“Yes, perhaps it does.”


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“Lady Tsunade! Do you see that?” Shizune said, pointing to the chakra blast that could be seen from their vantage point on the Hokage Mountain.


“Yes… I see it.” Tsunade hesitantly reached out a hand and gently placed it on her old teammate’s shoulder. “Jiraiya, he was a good man, partially because he had a good teacher. You should be proud of him. He gave his life for this village and those across Fire Country. We couldn’t ask for anything more from such a brilliant young man and Hokage.”


Jiraiya nodded, but didn’t respond. Perhaps he couldn’t. Minato was going to die. Was this how a parent feels when their child dies before them? This feeling in his chest, screaming that this wasn’t right, was unnatural, was wrong… so very wrong.


“Tsunade.” Jiraiya spoke so silently, the blonde woman beside him almost didn’t hear him. “I agree. He has made me proud. He did his duty and his job with honor, but he was wrong about one thing.”


Tsunande’s brown eyes turned to Jiraiya, curiosity burning in their depths. Jiraiya loved that boy and Tsunade had never heard him say a single contrary word about him, at least not in such severe seriousness.


“The villagers won’t accept his son as a hero. Maybe if Kushina had lived. I don’t know, but I do know that now his life will be a living hell. I love the Leaf Village, but they aren’t traditionally accepting of ‘different’ things. Minato’s son doesn’t deserve that.”


Tsunade had to agree. The three of them, the Legendary Sannin (she cringed at the moniker), had all exceeded expectation, but the result was a feeling of separation from the village. They were different and that difference was pointed out everywhere they went. And look how the three of them had turned out? Hermit, Gambler and Psychopath. How would life be for a boy who would no doubt be legendary on his own strength, but then to house Kyuubi? Yes, Jiraiya made an excellent point.


“I assume you have a plan?” Tsunade asked, raising a delicate blonde eyebrow.


Jiraiya turned, obnoxious (fake! Tsunade thought) smile in place, “When have I not had a plan? I am Jiraiya! Legendary Sannin and Toad Sa…”


“Please. Jiraiya, we both know this isn’t you. Don’t waste my time.”


The smile fell from Jiraiya’s face so quickly that it startled the blonde woman. She watched as Jiraiya once again turned to the chakra battle being fought in the middle of the forest. She fancied that she could hear the cries of a newborn baby among the falling of trees and roars of monsters.


“We kill the boy.” Jiraiya turned and headed off the mountain.


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As soon as the chakra levels had dropped to a point where the small group could approach the cleaning without harm to themselves, the three made their way to the bodies in the center.


The Fourth lay dead, his hand laid gently on the stomach of his crying, blond haired son. Tsunade’s heart broke taking in the scene.


“Oh god…” Jiraiya fell to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Minato… I failed you. I’m sorry.”


Tsunade knelt beside the white haired man, wrapping him in her arms, “Shhh… you did everything you could. There was no other choice.”


Jiraiya nodded, standing while impatiently swiping tears away from his eyes. Walking around to the baby, he knelt again, carefully picking up the precious boy.


“Jiraiya?” Tsunade asked, eyeing her friend warily, “When you said we were going to kill the baby, what exactly did you mean?”

“We take him away, far away. When they come looking for him and he’s not here, then they will be forced to assume the boy perished in the chakra backlash. Of course, me whispering it into Sarutobi’s ear should help as well.”


“You plan to keep this from the Third? Shouldn’t he, of everyone, know?”


“No. No one will know but us three. I think Shizune should be the boy’s caretaker. We’ll take her and the chibi somewhere far from here, where he can grow up in peace. The two of us will have to continue on with our roles for the village to not raise suspicion.”


The two women looked at the white haired man. It was such a huge secret they were about to partake in, but was it right?


Suddenly, the baby in the tall Sannin’s arms let out a heartrending scream. Looking closer at the child, they could see the seal burning upon his small tummy. Shizune gasped, “L-look at his face!”


Three thin scars had appeared on each of the baby’s cherub cheeks. None of them could deny his resemblance to the animal he now had locked inside him. And if they saw it, then every man, woman and child in the village would as well.


The three looked at each other and nodded silently. The baby deserved better. They would keep the secret of his existence until their deaths.


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As the somber group left the clearing with the sleeping baby, they never knew they were being watched by a pair of sinister yellow eyes.


“Oh… my playmates, what do we have here?”


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Tsunade looked up in shock from her story, rapidly searching Naruto’s face, only to find that he did indeed have the ‘whiskers’ of the chibi she had known. How had she not noticed before! She was the Fifth Hokage… how horribly, she closed her eyes, embarrassing.


“I see you noticed?” Naruto asked, smiling gently. He supposed that he should be angry about her earlier reaction, but hadn’t he, when he found out that someone had saved him from the clearing, been glad that someone cared? And for her to react that badly to someone ‘stealing’ his name just showed that she really did.


“I… we saw you. Dead! How did you escape? Where have you been? How did you end up here?” Tsunade rambled. Sasuke felt Naruto tensing under each new question. Giving the tan hand a gentle squeeze, he turned his sights to the Hokage.


“No, Hokage-sama, it’s still your turn to answer questions. What happened after you took Naruto from the village? How did he ‘die’?” Sasuke felt a chill run down his spine. He knew Naruto hadn’t died that day, but couldn’t where he went to instead be considered Hell, just the same?


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Jiraiya and Tsunade found Shizune and the baby a small cottage outside of Snow Country. It was close enough to the nearest town that they could walk, easily, if they needed anything.


They took to calling the blond haired chibi, Naruto, because that was the only name Jiraiya could remember his former student and wife mentioning. In retrospect, he wondered if perhaps they hadn’t just been joking. Minato had really liked ramen after all.


After making sure that the new ‘family’ was settled, Tsunade and Jiraiya made their way back to the village and their previous lives. Throughout the years, they each separately or together made the journey to check on the small boy and his caregiver many times.


Naruto grew up to be a delightful child. Full of energy and enough curiosity to fill all of Fire Country. The smiling boy was afraid of nothing and so, much to Shizune’s chagrin, he tried everything. Sometimes twice. He was polite, intelligent and carefree. Exactly what they all had hoped for when they had decided he shouldn’t be raised in the village of his birth.

And with relief they watched as he grew, smiling, happy and loved, knowing they had made the right decision.


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Tsunade and Jiraiya were unable to be there on Naruto’s fifth birthday, so they had decided to make the journey, several months after, together. They knew it would make the visit that much more special for the boy.


As they crested the hill and looked down at the quiet cottage, they both could feel something was wrong. Normally a welcoming smoke cloud drifted up from the chimney. Lights could be seen in windows and unless it was very late at night, noises of the small boy living there floated on the breeze. Today there were none of these signs.


“They are probably in the village.” Jiraiya said. Tsunade spared him a sharp glance before quickening her steps down the hill. He didn’t believe that anymore than she did.


As they got closer to the home, Tsunade could smell it. “Oh god,” she whispered. “Blood.”


Jiraiya grabbed her hand and ran full out toward the cottage. He burst through the door and froze. In the middle of the floor was what was left of Shizune’s body. A quick glance showed that her death had been unmercifully painful and excruciatingly slow. Black hair matted with dried blood. Swollen flesh. Claw marks from failed escapes on the floor. Bits of broken teeth and nails… He closed his eyes in a fruitless attempt to block out the image.


Jiraiya felt Tsunade stiffen next to him. “Where’s Naruto?”


With that, they both tore their eyes from their dead friend and run up the stairs. Bursting into the boys room they found him tucked into bed.


“Oh, thank god.” Tsunade sighed, slowly approaching the bed.


“Tsunade, no.” Jiraiya said. “Look.”


Tsunade stopped and took in the small bundle on the bed, “Wha…” and then she saw it. The pool of dried blood under the bed. More blood than a small boy of five could possibly lose and still be alive.


“Noooo,” Tsunade whimpered, falling to her knees.


Jiraiya made his way to the bed, steeling himself for what he might find. Gently lifting the covers, he saw that Naruto had been gutted from groin to neck and then the sick bastard who had done this, lovingly tucked the boy in, positioned his chibi hands near his face and closed his eyes. Like Jiraiya had so many times. Like a father.


Jiraiya ran to the corner and vomited until there was nothing left, as tears trailed down his face in torrents.


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Later, after performing the jutsus to ensure that the bodies belonged to Shizune and their little Naruto and were not some well crafted illusion, Jiraiya and Tsunade watched silently as their bodies burned inside the cottage.


“I want to know who did this, Jiraiya!” Tsunade hissed, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides, like she already had the culprit’s throat at her disposal.


“You were there. We looked everywhere. Whoever did this left no sign, no trail. I don’t even know where to begin.” Jiraiya’s voice was fierce, like sharpened steel, “But I will keep looking.”


With one last look at the burning house, the two turned away, walking away from bittersweet memories of a smiling Shizune and a laughing, carefree Naruto.


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“After that the two of us went our separate ways. Occasionally, I came to the village to help the Third when needed. Tsunade,” a sly look towards the blonde, “traveled.”


The room was silent. Sasuke looked down at his dobe. Blue eyes were closed again. Sasuke squeezed his hand to make sure he was still awake, praying he wouldn’t have to retell the story. A gentle squeeze assured him that wouldn’t be the case.


“I believe we have fulfilled our side of the ‘deal’. Now tell me how you are still alive. It was you we saw that day. We checked.” Tsunade said, staring deeply into the boy’s blue eyes. How had she not seen the resemblance before?


Naruto sighed, “Yes, my turn.” Hearing a slight shuffling, Naruto looked around to see that Kiba, Kakashi, Shikamaru and Iruka had moved closer to his chair, a silent show of support. Naruto beamed at them, receiving small nods in return. Feeling infinitely better, Naruto turned to begin his side of the tale.


“I was eating when they came. My caregiver, I guess her name was Shizune, told me to sit quietly as she went to answer the knock. Before she could even ask who it was, the door was thrown off its hinges, knocking her into the couch. I yelled, running over to her. As they came in, she stood, pushing me behind her. She screamed, “You!” and he started to laugh. Others came in surrounding us, I know the two of them said more, but I don’t remember… I was too scared.”


Naruto stood up, shaking off Sasuke’s hand and began pacing. “A boy, older than me with silver hair and glasses, somehow grabbed on to me. I screamed and kicked, trying to get away, trying to get back to her. Shizune lashed out at him, but the others attacked her. The boy, who I found out later was named Kabuto…” Naruto’s story was interrupted by two sharp intakes of breath.


Giving a sad smile, Naruto said, “Oh, you’ve heard of him. Then it won’t come as a large shock to you when you find out I spent the next twelve years in Orochimaru’s castle.”


“Orochimaru! That bastard!” Tsunade yelled standing up. Turning her assault on the white haired man next to her, she continued, “All this time he was there and we didn’t know. How could YOU not know, Jiraiya? Wasn’t it your job to watch him? To know what the snake bastard was doing?”


“I was… I don’t know. Obviously he was careful to keep him hidden…”


“Naruto was in a dungeon being used as a human experiment for his first three years, if that makes you feel better.” Kakashi ‘helpfully’ explained.


“What?” Two voices cracked out in response.


“Oh and his chakra was bound so he couldn’t use it in Orochimaru’s presence to help himself in anyway.” Kiba supplied.


“Ah, yes, and all the lessons, taught with fists, let’s not leave those off.” Iruka said.


“That is ENOUGH!” Naruto screamed, blue eyes fluctuated to red and back. “What are you doing? Are you trying to help me? Well, you’re not. Punish them? For what? What?! They aren’t Orochimaru or Kabuto or Itachi! Hell, or any number of faceless knights. What could they have done? If it wasn’t for Ryuu, everyone sitting here wouldn’t even know about the poor little blond boy stuck in that god forsaken place. You’d never know when I hurt or when I cried or when I d-died! And, everyone would go on, as though I never existed.” His head fell, blond strands covering his eyes from the room.


Sasuke made a move to Naruto’s side, “Dobe.”


“No! Stay back. Nobody touch me. Are we done now? Poor me. Poor them. Poor everyone. I’m done. Feel free to fill in the fucking blanks yourselves.” He quickly moved toward the door, slowing as he reached the handle, “My lord, later, I need to talk to you.” And with that, he was gone.


“Fuck.” Sasuke said, slamming his fist on the fireplace mantel.


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“Wow.” Kiba said, staring at the door and shaking his head, “Kid, sure knows how to leave a room.”


“Sasuke, leave the mantel alone. It never did anything to you.” Kakashi sighed, moving toward the dark, haired lord.


“Damn dobe, still didn’t slam the door.” Sasuke mumbled as he sat in the chair left empty by Naruto.


“Sasuke, could you explain how Naruto came to be here?” Tsunade asked, still looking toward the door Naruto had closed behind him.


“And maybe some sake? I could use some sake.” Jiraiya said, rubbing a large hand across tattooed cheeks. Tsunade eagerly nodded in agreement.


Lee ran out of the room to fetch the asked for drink and the others proceeded to share Naruto’s story. From saving Ryuu to appearing in the courtyard to his and Gaara’s confrontation.


“Well, we always knew that he would do great things.” Jiraiya sighed, throwing back another shot of sake.


“He gave the baby his chakra… and the baby took it?” Tsunade asked, for perhaps the fifth time.


“Yes.” Sasuke gritted out.


“That’s imposs…” She stopped, seeing the raised eyebrows, “Riiiight, bad word.”


“And he taught himself how to use his chakra… with no help from anyone except the demon fox?”


A curt nod from a dark head.


“Someday, Lord Jiraiya, you should ask him to show you his favorite move… I think you’ll be… interested.” Kakashi said from his place against the window.


“Huh, what is it?”


“I think you’ll appreciate the surprise.” Kakashi uncovered eye crinkled as he smiled.


“And the snake bastard knows he’s here? Said that he was coming?”


“Yes, but he’ll have to get through us first.” Kiba said, a bark from Akamaru backing him up.


“Brat… he tricked us. We thought that boy was dead. We had no clue who had done it or even the slightest idea that he might still be alive somewhere. Jiraiya, how did he do it?”


“I have my theories, each of them less pleasant than the first.” Jiraiya relied, shaking his head.


Heads turned as Sasuke stood up suddenly. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to the dobe.” He nodded respectfully at Tsunade and Jiraiya and walked out the door.


“Ever wanted to be a fly on the wall…” Kiba asked. The entire room nodded.


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After checking on Ryuu, Naruto had come immediately to his room and began processing everything he had heard today. Three months ago he knew exactly who and what he was. It wasn’t good, but he felt sure of his place. Now… now he had no idea. From one day to the next the terrain changed, leaving him stumbling and struggling for his footing. Who was he? Son of the Fourth. Holder of Kyuubi. Blond dobe. Troublesome. Friend. Father. Lover. Some crazy hybrid of them all?


“And with all that, kit, you’re seriously considering telling your Uchiha the truth about Itachi and Orochimaru? Did it occur to you that he might be overwhelmed today as well?”


“I’m sure he is, but it’s today or never. He needs to know. I need to know how he’s going to react…”


“But NOW… wouldn’t it be better to wait until he was otherwise occupied, distracted if you will.” Naruto could see the fox raising his furry eyebrows, if that’s what they were, in a suggestive manner.


“Oh yeah, I’m sure that would go over great.” Naruto huffed.


“Better than ‘Hey, sorry I just threw a fit and yelled at everyone, oh, you should know Orochimaru and Itachi used to force me down and…”


“Shut up!” Naruto yelled and then turned startled by the gentle knock at his door.


“Dobe? Are you okay?” It was Sasuke. Damn.


“Kit. Don’t.” Naruto didn’t respond and closed his mind to the worried demon.


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Sasuke stood outside the door listening as Naruto talked to himself, or maybe Kyuubi. He couldn’t quite make out the words but as the conversation started to get heated, he decided to make his presence known.


When Naruto opened the door, Sasuke could tell that the dobe didn’t wanted to talk about how ‘slowly’ things were progressing between them. Although a part of him knew that was a bit much to hope for, specifically the part that heard the ‘my lord’, he still couldn’t stop himself from being disappointed.


“Dobe.” Sasuke said, looking down into endless blue skies, “You said you wanted to talk.”


Naruto started back into onyx eyes, wishing he could throw himself at the young lord and pretend that everything would be okay. But, Naruto wasn’t as naïve as he looked and nodded briskly to the question.


“My lord…”


“Naruto! Say what you need to say, but do not call me that. Call me bastard, teme, or nothing at all… but do not call me a honorific you used on my brother or Orochimaru. Don’t EVER do it again.” Sasuke stormed across the room, sitting on the wooden bench under the window, arms crossed.


Naruto cringed. Damn, Itachi and Orochimaru were already in the conversation and he hadn’t even begun.


“Okay, Sasuke.” Naruto walked to the bed and sat down slowly. “I won’t.”


Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, making bits stand up more than usual. “Thank you.”


“I wanted to talk to you about my time at… in that place.” Naruto began, nervously twisting his fingers together in his lap. “I know that we have been taking ‘this’ slowly,” he looked up giving Sasuke the smallest of smiles, “But, there is something I need to tell you, explain maybe, before we go on… if we go on.”


Sasuke’s chest was so tight he couldn’t take in a full breath of air. Oh god… he wasn’t ready for whatever Naruto was going to tell him. He knew what was coming. The signs were all there, but to hear it, to actually hear it.


“When I was at Orochimaru’s castle, for the longest time when I got in trouble, most of the time, just because, Orochimaru would hurt me. In many different ways, it doesn’t really matter I suppose. It hurt one way or another.”


Sasuke stared blanky as Naruto’s lips moved and his voice slowly penetrated his mind.


“But then, maybe five years ago, he found another way… to hurt me.” Naruto looked at Sasuke and saw the lord staring back at him, expressionless. “He would… well, he would touch me at first. But not with his fists, like before. Gentler, I guess. But it still hurt, not my body, but my heart maybe. I think it was worse. Then he would force me to do things to his b-body with my mouth.”


“Dobe, stop.” Sasuke had closed his eyes, his hands holding his knees so tight they hurt.


Naruto continued like he hadn’t heard, “But the worst was when he would force me onto the floor or bed or wall and he would…”


Sobs escaped the blond’s mouth and Sasuke was at his side in a second, pulling the boy into his lap, whispering into his ear while rubbing gentle circles on his back.


“Sasuke, he r-raped me. Again and again and again and…”


“Naruto! Shhh… that’s enough. I understand. Stop now. It’s over. It will never happen again. Shhh…”


“It hurt. God, it hurt so much. And then Itachi came,” Naruto continued.


“Please, Naruto, no…” Sasuke begged.


“Itachi came and it hurt even more, to level I never imagined. I think, in his own way maybe, Orochimaru got pleasure from it, but Itachi, he just wanted my tears and humiliation.”


Sasuke couldn’t breath, he pushed Naruto onto the bed and stood, gasping for breath. Turning around he watched as Naruto crumbled onto the bed. Sobs silent as tears run down whiskered cheeks. Slowly, the blond boy lifted his head, pitiful smile turning up his lips, but his eyes… oh god, his eyes were empty.


“I understand.” Naruto whispered and pulled himself into a ball. “Please go.”


“No, dobe. No, you do not understand.” Sasuke walked to the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Naruto’s hip. At his touch, Naruto’s screamed like he had been burned.


“No, don’t. Don’t touch me. I know how d-dirty and d-disgusting I am. Please, just go.”


“Naruto… enough! Listen! Sit up and listen to me.” Sasuke’s voice was commanding, but god help him, it seemed to be the only tone Naruto responded to at times like this. He watched as the blond uncurled himself and slowly sat up, staring with wet, fearful eyes.


“Dobe, you are not dirty or disgusting and I certainly don’t think that. What happened… what they did, was not your fault in any way. They are to blame. They are the dirty, disgusting ones. Never you.” He stopped, searching the dobe’s eyes for understanding.


“It was hard to hear, just like I’m sure it was difficult to tell me, but I’m glad you did. I still want to be with you.” Black eyes closed, “Need to be with you. That hasn’t changed, but now, we will be able to talk about the things that frighten you or make you feel good, without it causing you unintentional pain. Do you understand?”


Silence and wary blue eyes were the response.


“Please, dobe, do you understand?” Sasuke said, offering his hand to the smaller boy.


“Yes, teme, I understand.” At the tentative touch from the trembling tan hand, Sasuke gathered the boy into his arms.


“I’m sorry, Sasuke. So sorry.”


“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m blessed to have you. All of you.” Sasuke pulled the dobe closer to him, rocking the boy gently as he fell asleep.


Tears run down pale cheeks as Sasuke whispered, “I love you.”


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Later, after Naruto had fallen asleep, Sasuke gently extracted himself from the bed and headed to his study. Upon entering the room, he walked to his desk, breathing heavily. Reaching out his arms, he violently swept everything off the desk and onto the floor. When that wasn’t enough, he started throwing anything he could find against stone walls.


Finally, out of breath, the young lord fell to his knees, “I’ll kill you, dear brother,” he growled into the silence of the room.