A grain of truth

*An epilogue… or chapter IX… epi… IX… arrrrrgh! I was torn between skipping to the future and prolonging the troubles and love life of those two, sorry the epilogue would just have to wait, just a chapter left before it ends! And so… the sadist won in me… Ah… about that question kimra put up, an average healthy person has about 12 to 13 pints of blood, you just have to lose about a third of it for you to die (found out without meaning to -shudders-). Basic rule: 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food, that’s all it takes for you to die. (then again, if I were to choose, I’d take to gulping down a couple of bottles of sleeping pills, so I wouldn’t have to experience starving, asphyxiation, that throbbing pain you feel when you cut yourself or anything having to do with pain, direct or indirect)…. I give Fastforward, a really great SasuNaru author in fanfiction.net the credit for putting that up in one of her stories… I’m gonna have to use that fact, one of these days in my stories… not on this one though…

IX

In the silence of the bleak looking hospital room, Naruto and Neji were left alone as Kiba and the rest had already gone outside to the car, they insisted that they be left alone for a while, Tsunade and Sakura reminding them of no further touching other than kissing for that day before they left.

“Are you okay now?” Neji nodded as an answer to Naruto’s concern laced voice as they sat face to face each other on the side of the hospital bed. The blonde smiled genuinely, taking the crucifix in his hand and bringing Neji’s own together with it.

“Sometimes… it helps to know that there’s someone you can lean on to Neji.” As the two of them held tightly on the crucifix on Naruto’s neck the both of them in syncbowed their heads, eyes serenely closed their foreheads touching and Naruto started.

“Lord God, we ask for guidance, for us to lead our relationship with happiness, may you protect us and our children with boundless love and understanding only you can give. Help us, so that we may be able to grow our children with righteousness and discipline, with love and caring. And lastly-” Naruto was cut off, feeling Neji’s hands tighten around his as he was cut off with Neji’s voice and he opened his eyes to look.

“I thank you… for giving me this beautiful person I think that I do not deserve.” Neji opened his eyes too, smiling gingerly at Naruto. “For giving me Maria, Hikari and Nagi… three wonderful children, I promise to take care of them and the children that you will give to us after for as long as they want me to, for as long as I can. In return… guide us, and protect us from all kinds of harm that may come to our family.” Neji leaned his head on the bewildered blonde’s shoulder, so that he couldn’t see the tears welling in those bright blue eyes.

“Please God, help me so that I will not commit mistakes that will hurt my loved ones unknowingly. I am selfish and sometimes childish… I have never known how to handle love, everything is new… and I hope that-”

“We will help each other, bound by matrimony or not. In sickness or in health, for richer or for poorer… even in death, through death we will not part.” A tanned hand loosened its hold on the cross, but the other still holding it as Naruto came to rub Neji’s back comfortably.

“Amen.”

Neji’s clan was a worshipper of the Shinto religion, even so, he had never in anyway accepted any ideas outside his logic of reason, he had found it stupid instead. The white costumes, the rituals and the tradition so technically speaking, he’s an atheist. When Naruto had first taken him into a Christian church he found it rather ridiculous to sit there for a minimum of two hours and spend their time listening on a guy in white’s sermon, namely, a priest. Most of the words the priest had said had either gone down to the built-in trash bin in his mind where the non-important, nonsense and illogical things go down, since his mind pretty much goes around like there’s a small office in his head, organized, neat and only remembers the necessary things.

But Naruto didn’t go there to listen, he went there to do the opposite. For a couple of minutes Neji sat on one of the rows of benches inside the church, watching with growing interest at how Naruto’s face which was tense earlier began to relax as he took his place kneeling in front of the altar since the mass had already ended, hands joined together, eyes closed and head bowed, he smiled in the end. Doing the sign of the cross before he turned to Neji to thank him for coming with him.

“I thanked God for letting me live this day without any problems and hope that it’d be like that again tomorrow.” Don’t people just go inside and ask for impossible things they normally can’t do? Cry their hearts out because of their problems? Trouble the priest with their litany of confessions and ask for advice?

“I also thanked God for letting me meet people like Neji and Hinata, for having a true friend like Kiba, Shino and Shika. For letting me get through my pregnancy without trouble. But most of all, I wanted to thank him for giving these tiny lives in my hands.” There’s something about Naruto that Neji couldn’t quite explain, he had heard from the man himself, of his personal life up to the last detail, but he had never once sounded like he was regretting about something.

“Everything happens for a reason. God gives us problems because he knows that we can handle them. In the end, everything will be fine. Those things would only leave us even stronger and let us grow more as a person.” Naruto may sometimes look sad through his stories, but he had never looked angry or resentful to the Carl that had thrown him away or Maria who didn’t do anything about it, to Sasuke who was a coward, or to those nameless people who had countless times called him hurtful names with prejudice.

“Have you noticed, the scars on the back of Kiba’s hands?” There was a time during his earlier months of pregnancy that Naruto had felt so depressed and confused, he told Neji with a very affectionate look on his face, how Kiba had refused to let go from hugging him from behind while he repeatedly stabbed his stomach with a stone ashtray, hitting the back of Kiba’s hands instead. Naruto had never despised or denied the existence of God like he did that time, that was the only thing he had regretted of doing. There was just so many things happening at once, prenatal care, vitamins, morning sickness, cravings, mood swings, lack of sleep, fatigue, cramps, swelling… emotional stress, exams, part-time work, there’s just so much that he can take he’s not a fucking woman to begin with for him to deal with these things. Then again… he’s not a male entirely either.

‘Let go! Kiba, fucking let go! If it weren’t for this-THING inside me I wouldn’t have to be left alone like this! I want these monsters to die! They should just die! I want to die! Let go! This isn’t real! Tell me it’s not real! I want to go back! I want to go back to being Nathaniel, to being Carl and Maria Walter’s son! I want to be together with Maria and Carl again! I want Sasuke back… why? Why can’t I be happy Kiba? I don’t deserve it? Because… I am a monster after all…? Kiba… I’m so tired… I can’t take any of these anymore…’

Neji had never actually believed in something like God, angels or miracles, he was too busy to spare his precious time with prayers, but that time, when he felt like just one agonizing word from Naruto that he wanted to separate with him was going to break Neji apart that it was impossible to remake him again, for the first time he solemnly prayed.

‘God… I don’t want to lose him. He’s the only reason I’m beginning to breathe life again ever since father died… I don’t want to… I don’t want to go back to being alone, go back to living solely for the purpose of being ‘the main branch’s slave’ like my father… be caught in a nonsense tradition… as long as I have Naruto, nothing else matters… so please… don’t let Sasuke take him away.’

Neji had never in his life thanked God sincerely when Naruto assured him, that he will never be alone again.

‘I’ll tell you as much as you need to hear it, I’ll tell it to you until you believe me Neji. I love you more than anyone else.’

That time, a blue eyed blonde angel brought a miracle to his life. That angel was none other than Naruto, and that miracle was that beautiful feeling that rubs comfortably at his gut, every time they spend each time together. When Naruto said those three wonderful words, he just can’t help but believe that there really is that omnipotent being gazing from beyond the galaxy and skies, knows every person’s moves, knows every person’s feelings, watching over them.

That one, eventful meeting, truly changed his life.

“Are you ready?” Naruto slowly stood up with care from sitting on the hospital bed, his hand under Neji’s own who was still sitting.

“I should ask that.” They smiled at each other, walked outside the room and went through the halls towards the nursery room to retrieve the babies hand in hand since Hiashi had already arranged the release papers.

They were to spend the rest of the winter holidays up to a week before Naruto’s winter break ends in the Hyuga main house in the suburbs of Hiroshima. It seemed that Hiashi was quite taken in with the babies in excitement of having his grandkids from Hinata and the nostalgia from when Hinata and Neji were still babies.

Oddly enough, the man had never asked about the other two of the triplets’ appearance, he understood, because Neji loves Naruto and thus accepted the babies as his own, Hiashi felt he wanted to do the same, feeling like he should, and feeling like he wanted were two different things, since in the time that he had spent visiting Naruto in the hospital talking to him, he felt an affinity towards the boy because of the same childhood they had shared.

Naruto may not be the rich kid, but they both had experienced being pressured because of family tradition. Him being forced to train himself as the future clan head, and Naruto being pressured to be perfect in Carl’s eyes, though the similarities were somewhat farfetched it didn’t erase the fact that they were both forced to suppress their own dreams and freedom.

Neji was thankful but somewhat found it funny how his uncle seemed to take a shine on Naruto and the kids, in all the older man’s life he had never taken a vacation leave or even a sick leave, even when his brother died he glued to his work but when he heard of Naruto’s condition he left for Tokyo faster than his secretary could make the papers for his leave.

They were freely chatting with each other through the silent hallways when they were welcomed by none other than an uneasy Sakura standing by the door of the nursery.

“Ah, Haruno-sensei, what’s up?” Naruto greeted quite cheerfully while his lover nodded as his usual greeting, Neji’s hand wrapped around his shoulder and his own around the man’s lithe waist.

“Ah well… you see he kind of…” Emerald green eyes darted sideways uneasily, her hand rubbing the back of her neck as she chuckled her nervousness away. She knew she shouldn’t have let him in even if it meant her losing her job, Naruto giving her that cheerful look was harder to deal with, it made her feel guilty…

“Eh? Are you here to see us and our babies off? Oh right, uncle Hiashi’s already arranged the papers, do you need something?”

“Ah… um… how should I tell this, this guy… uh, he just uh…” The sound of a baby crying captured the group’s attention, heads darting to the nursery’s slightly opened door. And Naruto felt the hand over his shoulder tighten just a little bit harder than necessary, he could barely manage to suppress the urge to wince.

And the blonde was overwhelmed by his own feelings, to see Sasuke hushing Hikari in his awkwardly placed arms with a soft uneasy look in his face, afraid that the baby would not stop from crying, he held him like a fragile crystal as if he would brake with one wrong touch, afraid as if he would fall if Sasuke didn’t hold him with proper precautions. Naruto felt somewhat happy, that familiar warm and soft lava flowing into his veins, because no matter how the baby in Sasuke’s arms looked, it just shouted UCHIHA all over.

“Shh… you’re gonna wake your brothers up, bad, you… Hikari cooperate with your dad here… stop trying to make me look bad in front of your brothers.” Sasuke was oblivious to the gazes he was being given as he continued to rock the little baby no bigger than the size of two Fuji apples stacked together, Hikari gently up and down against his chest, the nervousness fading away as the baby’s wailing slowly subsided, until he was only whimpering against the man’s chest. Sasuke let out a sigh of relief, smiling a little down at the petit body in his arms, he kept rubbing on the boy’s back, that was when he noticed three pairs of eyes observing him. One with a lopsided smile, one with an uneasy grin and the other, the usual impassive façade of the Hyuga.

And as Naruto and the rest went to step inside, his hand pressed a little against Hikari, the baby squirming a bit before Sasuke loosened his hold so as not to wake the baby up, his lower back meeting against an empty neighboring crib behind him as he stepped back a little unconsciously.

Are they going to take them away? No, not Hikari… or Maria or Nagi, I don’t want them to… they’re going to take my children?

“Sasuke… how are you?” Naruto tried to smile with ease even with Neji’s hold on his shoulder becoming painfully hard, still he didn’t budge, Neji’s after all… having a much harder time than he was.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that instead? How are you?” Unlike before the cool mask wouldn’t stick to Sasuke’s face no matter how many times he tried, surrendering, he let his uneasiness surface in.

“A little tired, but not something you couldn’t get off with a good amount of dozing off. I hear you’ve been visiting everyday…” Naruto cut off before he could add, ‘I’m glad’ along the lines, doing so would just make Neji’s grip on his shoulder harder.

“Yeah… I want to see them as much as possible. I’ve never felt like this before… so this is how it feels. Are you checking out today?” Sasuke knew already, but for the first time he was having difficulty trying to not let the conversation trail off with uncomfortable silence.

“Yeah… those two’re fast asleep.”

“Maria’s a heavy sleeper, won’t budge even if I rocked the crib back and forth.”

“You did?” Bright blue eyes widened a little, feeling something akin to a laugh starting to bubble inside him.

“I was tempted, but he’s really a heavy sleeper, must be the effects with you hanging around Nara a lot.” And that laugh, he managed to level down to a soft chuckle.

“And Nagi had the appetite of a one year old. He vomits a lot of milk, four ounces, but Haruno-sensei said it’s natural since they’re growing.”

“Mr. Hyuga Neji, Mr. Hyuga Neji… Please proceed to the hospital director’s office. Please proceed to the director’s office. There is an urgent call for you. There is an urgent call for you. I repeat. Mr. Hyuga Neji…” The mechanical voice echoed from the speaker attached to the ceilings of the hospital halls, the sound a mild distraction from the obvious tension arising between Neji and Sasuke that they haven’t realized had started.

“Neji, looks like it’s really important. Why don’t you go? I’ll wait for you with uncle in the car.” Naruto looked up at him with a comforting smile, trying to ease the negative emotions swirling violently inside the man’s head. All through the conversation earlier Neji’s face remained impassive, his eyes glaring daggers at the tiny cobweb on the wall behind Sasuke. Right then his mind was in chaos, the logics which should go to the first drawer of the filing cabinet in his brain was put carelessly together with the second drawer where his negative emotions were put, some false words were in there too, including misunderstandings that he knew had already been cleared up. They were a mess.

“Neji?”

“Ah um, Mr. Hyuga, it’s probably your assistant in the law office. She’s called you several times already but I told her you’re taking a leave. It seems that she’s having a hard time dealing with the reporters what with some of the members of Akatsuki filing an appeal for parole… and your engagement with Naruto isn’t really a secret so, they’re all dying to have your side of the story. Mr. Hyuga…”

Of all the babbling that Sakura had said, the only reply she got was a gruff sigh before the man massaged the bridge of his nose hissing a curse under his breath for those reporters.

“We’ll wait for you inside the car, ‘k?” Pallid lilac eyes went to capture Naruto’s bright blue ones, eyes locking, Naruto took that opportunity to seek for Neji’s understanding of the situation.

“Alright. Make sure you get yourself and the babies warm. We’re lucky the temp. dropped a degree today.” At that the long haired man relinquished his hold on Naruto’s shoulder and the blonde barely managed to fight the urge to sigh, giving Neji a light peck on the corner of his lips which caught the man off guard he whispered affectionate words to the man’s ears. Feeling the tension in his lover relax a little, Naruto waved a cheerful hand to the departing back of his lover.

“Um… I’m gonna go tell Hiashi-sama that you’ll take a little longer.” Sakura excused herself gingerly outside the nursery, she had felt it, the need of that overwhelming man to be alone with her cute patient.

“You look like you don’t want to let him go…” The door closed with a soft clack behind Naruto, his back leaning on the door as his hands remained fastened to the knob behind him.

“You’re right.” Sasuke answered simply, refusing to put the baby down back to his crib.

“Sasuke about that… it’s clear to me that you want to gain custody for the children. But it should be better if you act discreet about this, your wedding’s just two months away remember?” It hurt. To hear those words coming from Naruto’s mouth and see his face looking affected in the least, before, Naruto hadn’t looked so calm in front of him. Even when he had confronted him that time inside the flower shop he hadn’t looked so… unbothered.

I guess, you’ve changed. In these nine months that we were apart, I now realize how the heart can be this fickle. No. Fickle is not the right word. Maybe, if Neji didn’t come along, you wouldn’t have to look like that in front of me. You’ll look hurt talking about it, not like you’re just talking about some random unimportant thing with that infuriating smile of yours, and then I will realize what an asshole I have been and apologize to you, you will accept me again… and then... Healed. Yes. That’s it. After all… I am a man too, the best possible time to get a person you like is when they’re vulnerable, being the pure you, you would not see… when they’re susceptible to kind comforting words, Neji had taken advantage of that and I could only blame myself for it.

“I wouldn’t deny you to see the children, but I have a request to make.” A condition. It sounded a lot like it in Sasuke’s ears.

“I know… that it wouldn’t be easy for you. But Neji’s feelings are important to me too. He had accepted me with the children and I don’t want our kids to feel confused because of the situation in the future. Sasuke…” Naruto let out a soft sigh, lowering his head as his hands around the knob behind him tightened its grip.

Here it comes. Sasuke’s breath held out in anticipation.

“It would be better… if you act just like everybody else.”

Everybody else… everybody else!? No! I’m their father! I’m not just a part of that EVERYBODY ELSE!

“Neji and I… we’re going to get married once I hit twenty. Although it’ll be a long engagement, I want them to know Neji as their father.”

“They’re not going to believe you. Just look at them Naruto. Look at Hikari he’s-”

“I know that Sasuke… but Neji’s mother was in the genetic line of the Uchiha… it wouldn’t be a mystery if they looked like her, uncle Hiashi’s wife was also… some children take after their grandparents so-”

“So you’ve really planned this out huh? From the beginning…” A cynical smile curled the Uchiha’s lips, his eyes darkening with silent rage and frustration at where the conversation was heading. “… you’ve never wanted them to know they have a connection with me.” Sasuke growled low, stepping back as if Naruto was the one at fault.

“No. That’s not it. No matter what happens they have a connection to you. It’s just not… what you want it to be.”

“So for the rest of their lives they’re going to know me as uncle Sasuke, their grandfather’s ‘son-in-law’ some random person who married into the family because of convenience?”

“Isn’t that what it is? What it’d be in the end?” Naruto’s voice sounded so quiet inside the room, amidst the sleeping babies, the stab in those words hit Sasuke in full. “From the start, we had no chance. You can’t get away from the responsibility to your clan and the others related to it. The moment I learned of the pregnancy I had secretly realized that, in the back of my mind but I ignored it and still came to you… Now that it has come to this… I beg you…”

Naruto’s back slowly slid down the laminate surface of the door, knees bending as they gently met the floor. “Please let our children be… I promise that he will take care of them in your place, Neji’s a good person, he cares about them as much as you and I do. During those times I saw how sincere he was about helping me.”

No! I want them to acknowledge me! I’m their father not Neji!

Who am I to be selfish… when I had hurt Naruto all the time when we were together…

It’s your fault! I would’ve supported you had you only told me! Even through financial things I wanted to… had wanted to help you… it’s because you disappeared! It’s your fault!

Why am I being such a hypocrite, it was clear that I had no intention of taking custody or even claiming them at first. I’m just throwing a tantrum… aren’t I? Because I’m not the number one in your heart anymore… because you chose him over me even though… I don’t know how to follow those words. After all when I met you I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice anything for you, nothing at all. Such a bastard and such a failure. Maybe I deserve this as punishment.

“You would… let me see them?” Naruto’s head whipped up from being lowered as he gasped, drops of tears appearing to float in the air as they escaped underneath the man’s lids.

“Yes…”

“Anytime?”

“Yes, yes, anytime…” From his blonde ex-lover, deep onyx eyes traveled towards the sleeping form in his arms, to the pair on the crib beside him with a look of loneliness marring his pallid features.

“You’d better go. You’re going to catch colds if you don’t leave sooner. It looks like it’s going to snow.” The man reluctantly put Hikarii down his own crib with a sigh, brushing the boy’s cheek with the back of his hand with a smile.

All Sasuke received as a reply was a grateful smile from the blonde as Naruto slowly got up, briskly walking towards Sasuke before he embraced the man tightly, a whispered thank you warming him up inside out, including his gut.

A brief moment of gratitude which the Hyuga’s dangerously narrowed eyes outside didn’t fail to see with 20/20 vision through the glass window. Neji didn’t notice the deep crescents forming in the inside of his palms as his nails dug deeply against the skin, threatening to cut them deeper with the pressure from the dull nails. The scene was so unbearable that he had to muster up all the reasons, logics, his aristocratic manners, pride and the fact that there’re other babies inside to not smash the glass into pieces and dig them deep into the raven’s neck. As for the blonde… he just felt so hurt he wanted to die.

‘I’ll tell you as much as you need to hear it, I’ll tell it to you until you believe me Neji. I love you more than anyone else.’

And then he remembered what Naruto had said earlier. ‘I love you. When you’re in doubt think of nothing else but the fact that I love you. Think of nothing else Neji. The things you see that I do they have no meaning if it’s not with you, or because of you. I told you… I’ll tell you as much as you need to hear it… until you can no longer doubt my love for you. I’m in love with you. And as long as you’re with me nothing else matters.’

And suddenly his nails slowly weakened from its grave pressure against his palms, the painful squeezing of his heart subsided but didn’t fade, and the hard look on his face lightened. Right now he needed Naruto in his arms… Naruto’s the only one who can make those negative thoughts and feelings go away.

Naruto pulled himself away from the embrace before Sasuke could put any meaning behind it and prepared to lift Maria off the crib when Neji suddenly went inside without a knock it almost gave him a heart attack.

“Neji you jerk, you almost gave me a heart attack. Don’t you know there’re things like ghost stories in these hospital buildings? I almost thought you were one of them! Geez!” The blonde whined in a squeaky whispering hissing voice as he lifted Maria into his arms, placing them in the smiling Neji. Yep, he’s right. That frightened-slash-shocked reaction Naruto’s face showed earlier was enough to lighten up his mood.

“I should go. Curse those annoying interviews…” Sasuke grumbled under his breath as he raked his hand through black strands of bangs on the side of his face, letting out a litany of hissed curses on the way outside. He would have to get all smiley with those darn blinding camera flashes and annoying reporters.

“Sucks to be you Sasuke-bastard.” The address made the man smirk, it brought back the old times, but that was already in the past, Naruto just did that as a sign that they’re relationship as lovers were already finished and a new one had begun. Maybe they would be better off as friends more so than when they were lovers.

“Sucks to be YOU more oh mother dear.” Sasuke waved a hand along with that parting shot, noting that it felt good to see Naruto’s pissed off face. And he laughed internally.

I bet he was already thinking along the lines of ‘and whose fault is that Sasuke-bastard’?

That winter afternoon, many nurses had witnessed the peculiar behavior of one Sasuke Uchiha who kept humming to himself with an uncharacteristic smirk on his face, repeatedly chuckling alone in the middle while walking the hallway out of the hospital.

“Aren’t you acting pretty close…” Neji started coolly, taking Hikari in his arms as well, Maria lying on his right chest and the other on the left while Nagi who was the smallest was secured in his mother’s arms.

“Aww… I can’t believe you actually have this cute side of you Neji despite your age. Were you jealous?” Neji’s brow twitched upward threateningly as the two of them went outside and proceeded to walk the hallway out the hospital, he minded the words ‘cute’ and ‘despite your age’ more than the latter.

“’What do you mean ‘despite your age’?” Neji spat vehemently, the two of them walking through the automated glass sliding doors and into the direction of his car between Hiashi’s and Kiba’s.

Naruto fought the urge to laugh loudly, but his desire for mischief showed by the way his shoulders shook just trying to hold it in.

“When we get to the main house, I’m going to make you swallow those words in bed Mrs. Hyuga.” Neji ignored the way Naruto’s eyes almost bugged out because of those words as the door was opened by the main house driver Neji borrowed from his uncle since he’s going to get his hands full with the triplets.

All through the long drive Neji’s mind was busy researching of ways on how to punish Naruto, stacking them one by one in a neat pile on the office table inside his mind to be selected by his very reliable trusty ol’ libido secretary. And all through the long drive Naruto was dreading about something because he knew that when Neji was silent, he wouldn’t be later.

*And so another one of Kiba’s heroism is portrayed on this fic, although that always goes unnoticed when he’s being an idiot and getting repeatedly hit on the head by Shino, I wonder why it’s always pissing Shino off that he couldn’t help but hit on him…

Recently I found out that I’m always the last to find out things. My border (eherm I’m the assistant landlady) is actually five months pregnant now and I just found out! She told me it was because I was keeping myself locked in my room absorbed in my own yaoi world with a very aroused look on my face while typing the next chapters of this story and Countdown, that’s why she knew I was thinking about nothing but being an uber horny bastard. Well it’s because I didn’t notice, duh, her stomach is so small even though it’s round, and she’s always wearing loose clothes…

And recently I just found out too that I keep getting injured for nothing and I don’t realize it until it hurts so much that I’d actually notice it. And because of that I am going to start a new S&M story, please have mercy on me because it’s gonna be the first time that I’m going to do something in the lines of cock ball torture, enema, shackles, vibes and whips. But I don’t know if I’m going to include that inside, just looking for words to describe it, mostly it’ll be self mutilation and rape-slash-angst stuff but being me it’s all pretty WAFF and gut wrenching stuff that’d make you wanna cry… actually when I was visualizing The past, A memory of an umbrella and a red paper crane and Frame of the heart, I was crying that whole time.

The one that made me cry the most was Frame of the heart, it’s a tragedy, but well, I just like to torture myself with those negative feelings, am I a masochist? Because really… I like to feel that tightening of the chest stuff when I write my story, because when I feel that, I feel like I’ve done a good job in my story after I proofread it.

(Urk… really troublesome –like the word a lot, use it lotta often too- that’s why I looove Shikamaru, I mean love but not to the point of obsession, he just brings the best of words I wanna speak, ‘cuz I’m a lazy bum too. So I love his character a lot.)

I love my stories, and sometimes I get carried away when I write them, so spare me. Wait a minute… actually I find this rather disturbing… why are my reviews a little… urm… little? Well never mind, that’s why I love those reviews so much because they’re my first reviews and I’m grateful to those who have read them. It doesn’t matter that they’re little, what matters is that people did review and I couldn’t describe that swelling feeling like I wanna squeal inside the internet café every time I read them. Yes, I read them repeatedly, it just inspires me… those most precious reviews makes me so damn happy I wanna scream THANK YOU!

Wait I’m not done yapping yet, why can’t I get the friggin’ validation mail for the forum!? I sent like five to… (counting on fingers) twelve validation mails already! Arrrrrrgh! Is there something wrong with my yahoo account!? No! This is not happening!

Gotta sleep for now and wake up to pay that friggin’ electric bill. Psych!

(Friggin’… I like that word a lot too. As much as Kurai despises the word quote-delicious-unquote why is that I wonder? Hmm….)

Wait! As I was editing this long babbling of mine I realized that I had unconsciously made a pun! It’s about Shino hitting on Kiba…’s head.

Also, I have new stories to put up, so look forward to it.

Title: The love that won over snow
Genre: YAOI
Status: Manuscript in construction
Warning: AU
Pairing: SasuNaru

Trailer:

In the land where ice and snow are both loved and hated there’s a man whose cruelty transcends that of the cold of snow, a tyrant feared and respected for his leadership. But will this frozen heart of his that had been encased in ice for so long be melted by a near ethereal being whose heart, unlike the white surrounding him was so warm he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed?

Title: Flood of lights
Genre: YAOI
Status: Manuscript pending for construction
Warning: AU/ BDSM/ Rape / Self mutilation (I refuse to reveal the others… hehe)
Possible Pairing: (Not sure who, please vote…)Sasuke x Naruto / Gaara x Naruto / Neji x Naruto

Trailer:

The flood of lights in this stage that is my sanctuary washes over me, it drowns my insanity, my impurity and my sins, it quenches my thirst for affection even if that affection is misplaced. Their eyes that burn my body, and my body which in turn burns in their mind. Only in this place I am worshipped and love, only in this place that the contemptible me is made pure.

*hey hey, can you review about the trailers? I wonder what fic I should publish first…

Title: Endless song in an endless snow
Genre: YAOI
Status: Manuscript in construction
Warning: Vampire fic / psh, get it already, it’s a vamp fic! It’s bound to have blonde –cough, cough- blood in it!
Pairing: Sasuke x Naruto

Trailer:

‘You do not remember? You don’t remember even when you are like this? To me everything seems exactly the same…’ was what he repeatedly said as my cries continued to echo in that god forsaken place, my pleads for mercy never escaped me, the hurt from the continuous violation was so painful I cannot feel anything anymore while the sound of that music record drowned my sanity away… in the snow outside that seemed not to end, in the music in that room wrought with beautiful thorns that seemed not to stop… I became his.