Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Chapter Three

“Hi sweetheart.” the interrogator said solemnly as he shuffled his feet in front of the memorial stone, “I’m sure you’ve seen what’s going on . . . am I doing the right thing?” Ibiki paused uncomfortably before continuing, “Iruka’s going to move in and help me . . . please don’t get upset by it, I’ll never convince the council without him. At least now I’m sure I’ll have something interesting to talk about when we’re together again.”, he scratched the back of his head, unsure if he should voice his next thoughts. “I feel terrible ‘kashi . . . I started reading your journal, I had no idea you were so insecure, why didn’t you tell me how you felt, what worried you? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much I treasured every minute we were together . . . that someone like you was willing to spend time with me, let someone like me into your life . . . .”

The stoic figure stood hunched in front of the stone, hand over his face as he struggled to maintain his composure. “I was so mad at you for leaving the pack with Iruka . . . but then I thought about why you did it. I wouldn’t have minded, you know . . . being under you in the pack. I just miss you so much.” he finally admitted, hanging his head and studying the ground intently. “I gotta go, got a council to threaten. I sure hope you approve because there’s no going back after this. Wish me luck.” With that Ibiki strode confidently out of the clearing, mind focused on a single goal.

The interrogator appeared in the middle of the council chambers, “Good evening council,” he said with a notable lack of respect, “Lady Hokage.” he addressed Tsunade with a nod. “I presume you know why I’m here?”

“We aren’t going to let you bully us into doing what you want.” one of the councilmen said stubbornly.

“I have no intention of doing any such thing.” Ibiki retorted confidently, “I’m appealing to your consciences. The Hatake clan has long been important to Konoha, its strength has kept this village safe for generations. Kakashi wanted to be the last. He knew all too well the burden of genius in a hidden village and would not have wished it on another, especially an innocent child. If he were still alive he’d kill you for attempting this . . . and if I were true to his memory I’d do the same, but I can’t, not if there’s a chance for me to have a piece of him with me. So this is my pledge . . . give me the child when it is born. Iruka is the academy’s best teacher, between us we will make sure the child achieves its full potential.”

“And if we say no?” an ancient crone asked.

“Then I will kill you all, find the child and go rogue.” the scarred man replied with a shrug. “My skills are highly prized, after all.”

“If we agree,” Tsunade suddenly spoke up, “can we put all this unpleasantness behind us . . . I need to know I don’t need to look over my shoulder all the time, I need to be able to trust you Ibiki.”

“I am a loyal shinobi of Konoha.” he said abruptly, “As long as I get the answer I want I will remain such.”

“There are still two months until the child will be born.” the council head said stiffly, “What happens until then?”

“You tell me who the woman is. I want to be there for the birth, just to make sure you stick to the bargain. Then life goes on as usual. I need another week before I can go back to work, but feel free to call on me if it’s urgent.” He stopped and eyed them critically, “So, do we have a deal?”

“Yes.” the councilman nodded after meeting the eyes of his fellows, “I think it’s an acceptable plan.”

“Thank you.” the scarred man said briefly, listening avidly as the council chief related the details of the insemination and pregnancy, particularly interested in how they had obtained their sample. He breathed a sigh of relief upon learning it was done during the course of a checkup, somehow he had feared it had been taken while his beloved was unconscious or forced. Soon he was on his way home, name and address of the baby’s mother clenched tightly in his fist. I did it sweetheart, he thought triumphantly, I couldn’t save you, but I did save your child.

For the first time since Kakashi’s death he felt a genuine smile quirk his lips as he thought about what the future held. He had honestly forgotten about his promise to cook dinner until he opened the door to be met by a chorus of ninken all welcoming him home and praising Iruka’s talent at cooking beef.

“Finally.” the teacher exclaimed, hands on his hips, “If this is going to work you have to learn to let me know when your plans change. Now sit down, I’ll fix you a plate.” In a few minutes he was sliding steaming plates on to the table before gracefully sitting down and picking up his chopsticks. “Eat, Morino-san.” he nudged as he lifted the first bite to his mouth. “Is something wrong?” the chuunin asked, head cocked to the side, when the interrogator stayed lost in thought.

“Eh . . . no Iruka-san, I’m sorry . . . I was thinking about Kakashi, our first date was a dinner much like this one . . . slightly more awkward.” he amended with a soft chuckle.

“I believe that would be difficult Morino-san.” the teacher added with a smile.

“You know Iruka . . . if we’re going to live together you can’t keep addressing me so formally, please just call me Ibiki.” the scarred man said softly.

“I’ll try.” the chuunin said earnestly, “I resort to formality when I’m nervous.”

“You have no reason to be nervous Iruka . . . despite my reputation I’m actually quite ordinary. I have a question for you though . . . why did you agree to any of this?” the interrogator asked curiously, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I keep wondering why he chose you?”

“I wonder that myself.” the teacher replied wryly, “We never really spoke until just before your wedding reception.”

“That’s right, you weren’t there . . . why?” Ibiki asked, intent on getting to the bottom of the situation.

“Kakashi-san told me how unhappy he was about it, so I said I wouldn’t go . . . but I must have looked disappointed because he asked me what was wrong. I don’t know why, but I just told him the truth, even though we didn’t really know each other.”

“And what exactly IS the truth of you Iruka?” the interrogator prodded.

“That I was lonely. I know everyone, but no one really knows me. That I had nothing to look forward to outside of my work, and it wasn’t enough anymore.” the chuunin answered thoughtfully. “He suggested I visit the matchmaker, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it . . . when he found out he suggested this.”

“And what exactly did he want this to be?” came the wry question.

“Whatever would make you happy.” was the short answer, “He would have moved the Hokage mountain to make you happy. . . I think that’s why I said yes, you had to be special to inspire such devotion in someone like Kakashi-sempai.”

“I don’t feel special.” Ibiki mumbled, “I constantly wondered why in gods name he wanted to be with someone like me. He was beautiful you know. . . I never understood why he hid behind that mask.” he turned bitter eyes on the teacher, “And look at me . . . I don’t know why I’m even considering this, small children run from me, I’m hideous.”

“You are not hideous Ibiki.” Iruka stated firmly, “You have a big heart. Kakashi loved you, the pack loves you . . . and I’m sure the baby will adore you. Just like a big grumbly teddy bear.”

“I’m hurt Iruka.” the scarred man said with a sad smile, “You’ll ruin my reputation.”

“We need to figure out how to explain this to people though.” the chuunin said thoughtfully, “I decked Genma tonight, partly because he’s a git, and partly because I was embarrassed that I couldn’t really answer his questions.”

“I’m sorry I missed it.” the tall man chuckled, “He’s been asking for it for awhile. Did anyone witness his downfall?”

“Anko and Gai were there.” Iruka replied with a chuckle, “When I left Gai was lecturing him about how ‘Wonderful I Was to Support the Husband of His Former Rival’, I’m sure he more than regrets his prying.”

“It’s really no one’s business.” was the grumbled reply, “Why should we explain anything to anyone?”

“Well . . . we certainly don’t have to say anything, but people will talk if we don’t. I just don’t want you getting all upset when someone suggests that we’re sleeping together, or that we started seeing each other before Kakashi passed.” the teacher said honestly, wincing when Ibiki flinched at the mention of the copy-nin’s death.

“They wouldn’t dare.” the scarred man growled.

“Of course they would.” the chuunin retorted, “The number one favorite pastime in this village is gossip. Not to mention the furor when we bring home a baby. We need to have a consistent story.”

“Why not just tell the truth?” the interrogator wondered.
“What we decide to tell them is completely up to you.” Iruka replied deferentially, “I’ll go along with any rational story.”

“Then we tell them the truth, I’m nearly insane with grief and you graciously agreed to help me cope as a favor to Kakashi.” the scarred man rumbled, feeling the brief lightening of his mood drifting away as he muttered “Miss you sweetheart.” for the hundredth time that day.

The chuunin felt his heart go out to Ibiki. He’d felt the same despair when his parents had died. I’ll do my best sempai, he thought, silently communing with the departed copy-nin, but I don’t think I can do this . . . let’s hope the baby can. “Where should I put my things when I come back tomorrow?” he asked, deliberately changing the direction of the conversation.

“Follow me.” the tall man said, pushing back from the table and heading towards his studio. The teacher followed, peering past the other man into a room full of paintings, eyes immediately drawn to the shredded canvas on an easel in the center of the room.
“It was a present for our anniversary.” he explained nervously, licking suddenly dry lips, “It was the day of the memorial service . . . the irony upset me.” he concluded wryly, turning and extending an arm “After you sensei.”

“Where will you put all this?” the teacher asked curiously, “I can help you move it if you like.”

“I imagine I’ll put it in storage . . . or toss it out.” the scarred man said bluntly, “I’ve lost my inspiration.”

Iruka eyed the space appraisingly, deciding what to bring and what to store from his apartment, lips pursed as he calculated. “I’m sorry it isn’t larger.” Ibiki said suddenly, causing the chuunin to glance up at him in surprise, “And we’ll have to share a bath for the moment . . . but I’m going to add on a room and a bath for you, then the baby can have this one.”

“You do NOT have to remodel your house for me.” the teacher stated firmly, going into lecture mode, “This is about me HELPING you, not making you disrupt your life.”

“Maybe it won’t hurt so much.” the interrogator said hollowly, “Maybe everywhere I look won’t remind me of who’s missing.” He looked around the room forlornly before turning abruptly and addressing the startled chuunin, “I think I need to be by myself for awhile Iruka, please take your time and I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that he shuffled into his bedroom and threw himself onto the now too large bed, hunting for a trace of his beloved in the bedding that smelled less and less of him all the time.

And now I’m bringing another man into our home, he thought, ‘kashi I hope you can forgive me. He buried his face in his pillow and cried hot bitter tears as the events of the day came crashing down on him. All he could think of was how beautiful his husband would have looked with a baby in his arms, and how Iruka was a poor substitute. “I’m so, so sorry sweetheart,” he muttered, “It’s all so hard.” Eventually he slipped into a restless sleep, haunted by visions of a scolding Kakashi shaking his head at the scarred man’s actions.

“Forgetting me already.” dream Kakashi chided him, “I thought I meant more to you than that. It’s only been two weeks.”

“I’m sorry beloved.” he pleaded, to no avail. Dream Kakashi just turned his back and walked away, shoulders hunched in pain at being cast aside. “Please don’t leave me.” Ibiki begged.

“You made your choice.” the copy-nin’s sad voice floated back as he slowly faded from view. Ibiki woke with a start, drenched in sweat and suddenly unsure about the course he had chosen.

The next morning the scarred man wearily stumbled into the second bedroom and began bundling the canvases together, stopping occasionally to drink in the sight of his beloved in all his glory. He carefully wrapped the bundle in heavy paper before storing it in the small attic space. The other things required no contemplation and soon the space was empty. Hearing his husband chiding him in his head the interrogator quickly began to scrub the floor and walls, making sure the room was a blank slate, ready for its new occupant.

Iruka arrived a short while later, trailed by the pack and a rag-tag collection of current and former students, all of whom were pumping him for information about the move while they carried his belongings. “Why are you doing this again sensei?” a teen age girl piped up.

“Because Morino-san is very upset over the death of his husband. Kakashi-sempai asked me to take care of him if he didn’t make it back from a mission.” the teacher replied thoughtfully, “Even if Kakashi-san hadn’t asked me, I’d do anything I could to help a fellow Konoha shinobi.”

Ibiki merely watched the procession with a bemused look on his face, noting how the chuunin made sure none of the children touched anything or lingered too long inside the house, while at the same time thanking them profusely for their help, smile lighting his otherwise unremarkable face.

The teacher quickly unpacked and organized his things, scooping up his toiletries to go deposit them in the bathroom. He cringed when he entered and saw there were still two razors on the counter and two toothbrushes in a cup . . . there was no way he was going to be the one to remove the copy-nin’s things from his home. He cautiously made a space at the edge of the counter for his things, hanging his towel on the doorknob before heading into the kitchen.

“What would you like for lunch?” he called as he bent to peer into the back of the fridge, “We have some cabbage and beef, I could make yakisoba.”

“That sounds nice.” a deep voice replied from right behind him, causing the chuunin to jump in fright, flailing his arms and smacking the back of his head on the top shelf.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that.” Iruka yelped, rubbing the back of his head.

“A ninja should always be alert to what’s going on around him.” Ibiki intoned solemnly before breaking into a smirk at the teacher’s irritated expression, “Sorry Iruka.”

“I’m just not used to having someone else around.” the chuunin said softly, “So, what are your plans for this afternoon?” he asked as he pulled out his ingredients and began chopping them almost viciously with a cleaver.

“I don’t have any.” the interrogator replied tentatively, keeping a close eye on the hand with the sharp object.

“You can’t just hang around the house all day.” the teacher began to lecture, shaking the cleaver inches from the scarred man’s face, “You can go to the market while I’m at the mission office, I’ll give you a list.”

Iruka was puzzled when the tall man’s face fell at the mention of a grocery list, now what, he thought. “Ibiki . . . Ibiki . . .” he gently shook the other man’s shoulder to get his attention, “is something wrong?”

“No.” the interrogator answered shortly, mind replaying images of Kakashi wearing only an apron, busily making him a shopping list. “I need to wash up.” he stated abruptly, disappearing into the bathroom.

I wonder if he’s alright, the chuunin thought when he finished cooking and the scarred man still hadn’t reappeared. He headed to the bathroom, intending to let Ibiki know the food was ready. As he lifted his hand to knock, a loud moan reached his ears and he threw the door open, thinking perhaps the tall man was ill and needed help.

The interrogator had his pants down and his hand around his cock. Just as Iruka burst in the scarred man let out a loud moan of Kakashi’s name and came hard all over his chest and hand. The teacher stood, riveted, unable to move or look away even though he knew continuing to watch such a personal moment was incredibly rude.

“I’m sorry Morino-san.” he finally managed to stammer out, flushing beet red and fixing his gaze on the floor between his feet, “I though you were ill. The food is ready whenever you are.” he squeaked before adding, “I’m just going to head off for my shift, bye.” and dashing out of the house.

“That was mortifying.” Ibiki groaned aloud as he listened to the sound of his new roommate running away as fast as was humanly possible, “I’m not doing a very good job so far sweetheart,” he commented wryly, “and no, I don’t think his expression was cute.” The interrogator continued his running monologue as he dressed and headed for the kitchen, asking Kakashi’s opinion on what he should do now. Not receiving any response he decided to go do the shopping, thinking it would, at least, not make the situation any more tense than it already was.

Iruka slumped onto the mission desk, head on his arms, mind spinning from the embarrassing situation he found himself in. “What’s the matter ‘ruka?” Genma’s voice caused him to lift his head and roll his eyes before dropping back to the desktop with a thud.

“I totally screwed up and I’m too mortified to go home.” he whispered, “I can’t believe I blew it so quickly.”

“Explain.” the honey-haired man said shortly, “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” The teacher quickly told the story, complete with shy stammer and bright blush, and looked up at the older man sincerely as he finished.

“I don’t know ‘ruka . . . I don’t think it’s as big a deal as you’re making it out to be. I mean, all guys beat off.” the senbon sucker mused.

“I don’t.” the chuunin replied primly.

“Never?” Genma asked with wide eyes.

“I’ve never, I mean . . . it’s none of your business. The point is not what I do . . . it’s what I saw.” the teacher quickly changed the subject.

“My advice is to not worry about it.” the tokubetsu jounin replied, “The bigger question is why are you there if you’re NOT having sex?”

“I’m helping Ibiki cope.” Iruka replied quietly, “The council decided to take matters into its own hands and arrange for an Hatake heir since Kakashi wasn’t willing . . . Ibiki found out. I’ve agreed to help him raise the child, that’s all.”

“That’s hardly an all ‘ruka.” Genma replied in awe, “That’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard of someone doing for someone else. Why would you give up your life for something like that?”

“I’m not giving up anything.” the teacher declared sadly, “I have no life . . . this way at least I get to pretend I have a family.” The honey-haired man didn’t know what to say, and he sat staring at the chuunin, dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time.” he finally said sorrowfully, “If Rai and I can do anything to help please let me know . . . and ‘ruka,” he declared, hand on the other man’s arm, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with my teasing. I’d like it if we could be friends.”

Ibiki wandered through the marketplace haphazardly. Unlike Kakashi, who had organized his lists by vendor, the chuunin just wrote down what he needed in the order it occurred to him, resulting in the interrogator’s drunken progress, returning to the same stand two or three times as he came to each item.

“Ibiki How Are You! It Is Wonderful To See You Out And About My Friend. How Are You Feeling Today?” Gai boomed suddenly.

“Hello Gai.” the scarred man replied absently as he studied his list, “I was just doing the shopping . . . Iruka gave me a list.”

“Iruka-Sensei Made Your Grocery List?” the green clad man wondered loudly.

“Kakashi always organized it by stall for me . . . I know I have to get used to doing it another way now that I’m living with Iruka . . . but it’s harder than I thought it would be.” Ibiki confided.

“I Am Disappointed In You Ibiki. I Thought You Truly Loved My Eternal Rival, But You Have Replaced Him So Easily . . . Not That Iruka-Sensei Isn’t A Wonderful Example Of Manhood . . .” Gai began to lecture sternly.

“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong.” the scarred man insisted. He quickly told Gai about the council’s plan and how he and Iruka were going to raise the child. “That’s all . . . I could never love anyone else the way I loved ‘kashi, it would be foolish to even try.” he ended sadly.

“I, Maito Gai, Vow To Help You In Your Quest . . . I Wish To Train The Child Of My Rival.” was the booming response, complete with thumbs up.

“Fine, you can start by helping me with this list.” Ibiki muttered, shoving it into the other man’s hands and relaxing as Gai dashed off to do as asked.