The Blessed Realm

 

Chapter Ninety-Six: Woman and Monster

Naruto's words gave some comfort to Sasuke: enough to fall asleep, enough to get up the next morning, yet hardly enough to sit down again to study for the entrance test and face the challenges of worded problems and logical puzzles. It was useless after all: he would not join the police, but be sent to prison, and the best solution would be to deliver himself to the Raikage, to tell him the truth about his attack against Killerbee and accept just punishment, meaning death.

He didn't do it – he couldn't while Naruto sat in two metres' distance on the sofa, reading, watching him and telling him to work when Sasuke put away his pencil for too long. He also made cocoa and laid his arm around Sasuke's shoulders more often than normal. Sasuke was grateful for the limited comfort Naruto's tenderness offered to him, but it did not restore his former vigour to stand up against the universe and the book he studied with and insist on his and his family's right to exist.

He was less grateful that Naruto did not have any inhibitions at all about telling other people what had happened to Sasuke. Luckily Sasuke was silent and introvert even on ordinary days, so that only his closer friends, in whose company he was more talkative than with strangers, noticed the change and asked him about it.

“He meditated and got in contact with the universe,” Naruto answered while Sasuke was still searching for words, “and the universe told him that it didn't need him.”

He said this as if it was the most natural message one could expect from the universe. People caught the horror all the same.

“That's rubbish,” the husband of the guy from Earth Country said. “Don't believe it. Of course the universe needs you.”

He laid his arm around Sasuke's shoulder, and this time Naruto did not get jealous. Sasuke needed whatever comfort people would give him.

Their friends at the riverside also noticed that Sasuke was more silent than on other days. (With them, he was normally more talkative than with his gay friends, mostly because their conversations were of a different nature: less football and gossip, more politics.) Naruto told them too that Sasuke had meditated and that the universe had told him that it did not need him.

“Why do you meditate then if you get such stupid messages?” one of the young men asked.

“Naruto meditates, and I wanted to give it a try.”

“So now you've tried it, and next time you tell the universe that you don't need it either.”

Sasuke smiled faintly. Refuting the universe was what he used to do, and it gave him some satisfaction to hear that other people took a similar position.

“Anyway, there's no such thing as a universe,” another young man added. “There's people and trees and mountains, but the universe as a whole is just an abstraction, not a person who may talk nonsense to you. A mere philosophical concept.”

“I'd rather call it a religious concept,” one of the young women contradicted him, and soon they were engaged in a theoretical discussion Sasuke did not take any interest in.

Juugo's fostermothers reacted in a different way. “You must have made some mistakes when you meditated,” they told him. “If you do it correctly you will feel that you are part of the universe, complete with your personality, and just as indispensable as anyone else, because without you, something would be missing. You should give it another try: maybe you should ask someone else than Naruto to teach you.”

Sasuke was determined not to do this.

“Have you ever meditated?” he asked.

“I once participated in a weekend seminar given by your friend,” she answered. “The young woman, Karin.”

Sasuke knew that Karin taught ninja techniques, mostly medical ninjutsu, to the local women, but he had not suspected any connection between her and Juugo's fostermothers.

“I liked it, and I wanted to practise regularly, but I just don't get around to it.”

“Then how do you know that the universe needs me?” Sasuke asked.

“It's common sense. You don't need to meditate to know this.”

She meant well, Sasuke concluded, but she had no idea about what the universe wanted.

“It's understandable that you feel a bit useless, now that you have lost your job,” the woman continued. “It will get better once you've been accepted by the police. Just don't lose courage and keep studying.”

Sasuke decided to return to Naruto and discuss his doubts with him. Naruto meditated himself, so he should know.

“Do you feel that you are an indispensable part of the universe when you meditate?” he asked.

Naruto thought about it. “I don't know. It wasn't my intention to feel that I'm part of the universe when I learnt this. I wanted to get in touch with nature's chakra, so that I could use it to become stronger and defeat Pain, that's all.”

“Do you think the universe needs me?”

Again Naruto had to think. When he had been training to learn his sennin jutsu he had not thought much of Sasuke at all, mostly because he had been busy mourning Jiraiya at the time, but also because at Toad Mountain there was no place for Sasuke, or even talk about Sasuke. In Konoha too people rarely spoke of him. He was not needed there, nor had anyone ever missed his clan.

A universe without Sasuke was realistic and conceivable. All that would remain was a hole in his heart.

“I need you,” he said again. “I don't care whether the universe needs you.”

Sasuke felt partly comforted. His eyes fell on the photo that showed him with his family: Formerly he had thought that they needed him to avenge him. He had been certain that they'd be proud of him if they knew that he was going to join the police and thus continue their tradition. But now he had lost trust even that they had been needed by the universe. Maybe the accusations against them had not been unfounded. Maybe they had indeed tried to do something wrong.

“Maybe you should indeed give it another try,” Naruto said, interrupting Sasuke's train of thought. “I had to learn to work around the Kyuubi too.”

The kyuubi and Sasuke, he thought. These two did not have a place in Konoha, or with the toads, or with meditating. But his love for Sasuke was an integral part of his soul, both when they had been apart and now that they were together. He looked at Sasuke in his distress, and Sasuke's pain was his own. “I need you,” he repeated, and this time Sasuke accepted his embrace.

Naruto's mention of the Kyuubi had reminded Sasuke of Killerbee's renewed offer to teach Naruto to tame it. He told Naruto that he had met Killerbee, and Naruto contacted him and they agreed on a time and, even more importantly, on a place where to meet: A hill at the outskirts of Music Town that had once been used to discard garbage but that was now covered by earth and grass. Some bush grew there, and the first young birches, but people still tended to avoid it as they associated it with garbage. Naruto brought Sasuke to the meeting-place, and Killerbee brought his girl-friend.

“I've told her about you,” he said, “and she suggested that we find a way to have sex too. I've thought about it, and I want to introduce her to the Hachibi, so that both of them learn that they don't have to be afraid of each other.”

The young woman looked expectant, but also tense and a bit worried.

“I'll change form now,” Killerbee said, now addressing her, not the boys. “The Hachibi looks monstrous, but he isn't a monster. He's friendly and actually quite intelligent. Trust that your love will show, and don't forget that within the Hachibi there's still me.”

The woman smiled faintly: Killerbee's words had not removed her fear.

“Are you sure that this is a good idea?” Naruto asked. “I'd never let out the Kyuubi like that. He'd go on a rampage.”

“The Hachibi has been tamed,” Killrebee replied. “He no longer does this.”



“But you love her. It's far from safe – how can you risk her life in such a way?”

“I want this,” the woman now spoke for herself. “I've asked him to find a way so that we don't have to fear the Hachibi any more, and he told me that he had spoken to the Hachibi and he trusts him not to hurt me, and I trust Killerbee's judgement.”

It was obvious that this was not the whole truth: She still looked scared, but determined. Sasuke could not help admire her: ready to face the Hachibi and relying solely on her love.

“Don't fear,” he said. “If anything goes wrong I'll help you out. I have the power to get a bijuu back under control.”

“You stay in the background,” Killerbee said. “It took me quite an effort to convince the Hachibi to meet you. Because of you he has lost several limbs, and they haven't grown back yet. He hasn't forgiven you.”

Being reminded of his attempt to abduct Killerbee still hurt, but Sasuke knew that he did not have any right to complain. Obediently he retreated to the background.

Killerbee took a few steps in the other direction and turned into the Hachibi. Sasuke had seen it before, but Naruto and the woman hadn't. In a mixture of horror and fascination they stared at the monster, which remained quietely where it was, laying its head to the ground to indicate that it didn't intend to attack anyone. The woman now left Naruto's side and went towards the Hachibi, and the Hachibi advanced too, very slowly. Naruto joined Sasuke, and together they watched how the woman met the monster: how she kissed and caressed the giant head, and how the Hachibi used its octopus tentacles to caress her back. Naruto leant heavily against Sasuke, taking his arm and laying it around his hips. Watching Killerbee and his girl-friend got aware of a desire he hadn't known to exist: that the monster within him should be loved too. He knew, however, that his was not possible: the Hachibi had been tamed, and the Kyuubi hadn't.

Sasuke was deeply moved by the scene too, and even though he did not know the exact reason of Naruto's sudden clingyness he felt his need for love and acted accordingly, caressing Naruto's back and drawing him closer.

“We'll manage too,” he said.

Killerbee turned back into his human form. He looked exhausted, and extremely serious (for his standards.) For several minutes he covered his girl-friend's face with kisses, and she kissed him back. They didn't speak at all. Only when her hands moved down to his hips and began to caress them he realized that this was not the moment to go any further and broke off the embrace.

“We have time for more later,” he said. “Now I have to instruct the boys.”

 

A/N: Thanks again for your reviews and your plusses! You can find my answers at http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/14965-blessed-realm/ .It is now possible to access the thread without registration at the forums.