Uzumaki Naruto, Icha Icha Star!

What if, while Naruto was training with Jiraiya, Jiraiya managed to convince Naruto to become a lead actor for his first big Movie, Icha Icha Paradise: The Movie?! Hilarity, Erotica, and Awkward romance follows, that's what!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or it's characters. I do, however, own the idea behind this story, and any OOCs that come with this story. Enjoy.

Warning: This story contains mature themes involving Sexual Situations, Violence, Depictions of Blood and Death, Language, and various other things that earn the fic it's X rating. I doubt just adults will read this, but you have be warned as to this fiction's content, there is no blame to be placed upon me if you continue to read this, but are not suitable in age to read this. Thank you, enjoy.

Uzumaki Naruto, Icha Icha Star!
A Naruto fic

"Naruto..."

"Hai, Ero-sennin?"

"... Five minutes."

"... Fine...." Was the muttered reply as the blonde young man leaned back in his chair in front of his dresser. "How did Ero-sennin put me up to this again..? Oh... Right... He said it'd help me improve 'Endurance' and he'd teach me 'New Techniques'.... Shimatta, Naruto-baka! Next time, read the contract!" The blonde, fourteen year old, young man said to himself as he smacked himself on the back of his head with an open palm.

"Two minutes, Natawaki-san." Natawaki, Naruto... how original, Ero-sennin. He thought to himself with a slightly depressive scowl on his face as he slid into his costume, and left his dressing room. The Shuriken-style plaque on the door read "Natawaki, Naruto."

Jiraiya Presentations
presents....

ICHA ICHA PARADISE
The Movie!

Starring

Natawaki, Naruto
as
Nataru, Hideki

Naruto laid on the beach-like set as his mostly nude form took in the fake sun-rays, his blonde, and amazingly long, hair pulled into a ponytail with a few of his standard spikes accenting the look. His blue eyes were closed as his muscular form was dressed in little more than black shinobi-pants, which were torn, and a shuriken holster, which regretfully lacked a shuriken. He didn't pay much attention to anything else until the lead actress ran from the faux-jungle in the scenery towards him yelling "Hideki-san! Hideki-san!" Over, and over... He opened a fake-blood covered eye to look at her, his body was laden with false injuries, and false blood. "Nozomi..." He said, weakly, as she kneeled next to him, faking tears rather well for a porn star. "Why are you crying....?" He asked in a weak voice.

"You bastard... You were supposed to survive!" She yelled at him, a little too loudly. I take it back, she sucks. He thought to himself with a sarcastic glare on the inside. "You were supposed to let me tell you... I love you, Hideki-san!" She sobbed into his chest as he moaned on the inside at how badly she'd just started off.

"I'm... not dead yet." He let out in a weak voice, forcing himself, and the woman on top of him, up into sitting positions. "Can you... heal me, please?" He asked, hoping he sounded convincing. She nodded with tearfilled eyes, At least she's good at something he thought to himself at this time, and began to use fake Medical-Jutsu on him, removing the fake wounds, and blood. "Now.. What's this about you loving me?" He asked in a slightly stronger voice before she pushed him to the ground, crying into his shoulder as he slowly, and nervously (As the role required), put his arms around her.

"I love you, Hideki-kun..." She said before he kissed her on the lips, as chastely as possible before she intiated the required french. The scene from there degraded into a sex-fest...

How did I end up here?

Why am I here...?

Why... do I still do this?

When Ero-sennin said I could leave...

This makes me feel good...

... People recognize me.... Not in the way I want, but it's still something..

A Year Ago


"Hey, Naruto, what do you make of this?" Jiraiya, also named, affectionately, by his student as 'Ero-Sennin', said as he handed a slightly younger Naruto a book entitled "Icha Icha Paradise" Naruto took the book with a skeptic look, and opened it up...

"Nani?! Ero-sennin, this is the same kind of book Kakashi-sensei reads all the time!" The blonde exclaimed, abashed at his newly appointed sensei's behavoir.

"Hai, Naruto-kun, that it is. I gave, and signed, Kakashi's first book myself." The older man nodded his head sagely, only to be punched rather fiercely upside the head, leading to a glaring contest between the two, which resolved when there was a contest of annoyed grunts. "Anyway, bakayaro, I want you to star in my first movie," At this point, Jiraiya jumped up into a pose that many would say was ridiculous, "ICHA ICHA PARADISE, THE MOVIE!" Naruto sweatdropped, reading further into the book, turning slightly red.

"What good will it do my training, Ero-sennin?" Jiraiya nodded to himself after a moment's pause, causing shivers to run down Naruto's back.

"It will build endurance, and you'll learn many great things! And, I won't lie to you here, you'll stop being such a little PRUDE!" This sentence was answered with another punch to the head, which degraded into a dust-cloud-brawl.

The Present

It was a clear sunny day in Konohagakure, one might say perfect actually. Naruto smiled to himself, glad to be home in Leaf once again. He walked at the side of his sensei, and directing 'boss' per se, Jiraiya. Naruto hadn't changed much at all, in all but the physical state, anyway. Naruto now stood to at least Kiba's old height, and was obviously very muscular underneath the black clothing that covered most of his body. He wore a pair of black shinobi pants, sandals, and a black chuunin-style vest. Underneath the vest is an orange muscle shirt with the Uzumaki clan symbol, a red spiral, on the very front. His hitai-ate, as always, kept his sun's rays blonde hair out of his eyes. His hair, now a little bit straighter, pointed mostly backwards in it's current style. The holster on his right thigh, and left arm contained a kunai and several things of shuriken.

"Ano-sa, Ero-sennin, you think maybe Tsunade-obaa-san will remember me?" The young 'Fire Of Youth', as a certain pair of 'Beautiful Beasts' would say, asked of his sensei while they moved closer, and closer to the Hokage's tower.

"I'm betting so, Naruto.... And, don't call me that in public, brat." The last part was added in an annoyed murmur as the white-haired frog-hermit walked along casually.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I'll get Iruka-sensei, or someone else to treat me to ramen!" Naruto grinned maniacly, as his sensei turned to look at him a little oddly.

"But, you just got paid..." Naruto's grin turned a little devious, and his sensei just sighed slightly. "Tsunade's going to kill me for 'Corrupting her little onii-kun.'"

"Yep, she will!" Naruto's grin returned to a smile as he wrapped his arms around his head, and walked through the large doors of the Hokage Tower. Making their way casually to the Hokage's office, Jiraiya and Naruto made sure to hide any uneven turns in their appearance before walking in...

"I SAID I DO-...." Was the greeting issued from the room's occupant before noticing who had come in. A woman who seemed to be in her mid-twenties stood behind the large desk with her hands slammed upon it, dressed loosely in hokage robes which revealed massive amounts of her, already enormous, cleavage. Much to Naruto's dismay, Jiraiya drooled.

"Tsunade-obaa-san!" He yelled before launching himself in a glomping hug, which really was useless as Tsunade grabbed him out of midair and began to literally hug him to death, at Tsunade. He made spluttering noises into her breasts as he struggled to get away.

"Naruto-kun! You look so different now! What did that baka-hentai do to you?! Did he do anything?!" At the accusations on Jiraiya's 'Honor' Naruto was thrust out in her arms, said arms crushing his own.

"Tsunade....Obaa....chan... Hurting me..." He grunted out in... well, pain...

And, through it all, Jiraiya just kept watching Tsunade's cleavage.