I need some sleep

I need some sleep


One foot out of the warmness in the bed, stick the other out too and make contact with the floor. Out away your warm blanket and rise in out bed. Sit up, rub the sleep out of your eyes. Or the tiredness, cause the sleep wasn't to come this night either. Stand up on shaky legs, and wonder 'Why am I doing this?'. Ask this question everyday a year from the time you realised that you wasn't wanted. Look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Wander down till your eyes gets to your mouth? Is it smiling? Yes. Good. It stuck this night too. Then it would be there for the rest of the day, and you don't have to get worried that your team-mates will wonder if Something is wrong. Cause you smile, and when you smile, everything is like always. You are happy. Yes, you are happy. You look happy, at least, shouldn't that be enough?
'What make me go up today again?' you can ask yourself now. Why just not sleep until there is nothing left of you. Escaping all the hateful glares out in the world, hiding under your Oh so warm blanket. In the dark without light. Why? Yeah, that's was the question from the beginning.

Today you skip your breakfast again. You pull on your biggest shirt to make it look like you eat. How long was it since you eat the last time? Yeah, you forgot. That’s easy. The days flows by pretty fast, and on the same time in a so slow pace that you don't know what day it is. Sunday? Heh, don't even try to guess. It's depressing. Shut up.

But when you can't shut up? You never can. It's your mask? A mask. Is that the kind of thing you wear on maskerade-partys and when your in the ANBU? No? Ah, the invisible kind. You should eat you know. You make me hungry as well. No, you just shake your head. It's a funny thing that you don't want to listen to me. After all, I'm the one keeping you sane. But one the same time, I'm also the one making you wanna die. I really apologise, and you answer, that it's okay. It hurt seeing you like this you know. It's my heart too. If you only would let me out you...Oh...okay, not that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Just forget it. Not going to mention it again.

Walk out of the door, to the meeting place at the bridge. You didn't want to. Not me either. It hurts dammit. You are stronger than you can imagine. I'm sorry for making it painful for you. I wish I could do Something. But you're right. It's okay. You really do love me, at the same time as you hate me. I understands that. Okay, I will be quiet. Just watching.

Now you meet up with your team-mates. That girl and that boy. Sasuke. The boy. You love him, I can see that. You know that you should not fall in love with your team-mate, makes things difficult. But that's okay. You are never going to tell him. He is dating the girl now, after all those years. I never bothered to remember her name. Something with a L? S you say? Sorry, my mistake. I be quiet now. Only...Why don't you tell him? Maybe he loves you. I seen the way he observes you, when you're not paying attention. But I know that you would never survive a no. You just watch him from faraway as I do when I'm not allowed to talk to you. Watch him train, smirk, talk - the few times he does - snort, challenge, saying goodbye, making out with that girl. God, it hurts. Stop looking. Tear your eyes away, stick them out and go blind and fail as a ninja, just stop looking at them. It hurts. My whole body id trembling, and my heart is smashed under a Stone, again and again. How can you keep smiling!? I bit my inner cheeks so much that the blood is dripping, and you keep smiling!? How!? Look away! Make them stop! Hit them. Kill them! Bury them! Never look at them again – disappear, disappear!

You fill your lungs with air as they stop, and Sasuke is looking at you again. He want's to know what you're thinking, he want's to know if this affected you. It did, but all he can see is your stupid smile you painted on that stupid mask you are wearing. Yeah, I know, the invisible thing. No, I haven't forgot. Hey, you, don't make me think of other stuff! Don't joke stuff like this away! The thing you just did right now really hurt dammit! Look away next time. Shit, I cry your tears. Any idea how embarrassing that is? Che. Stupid boy. Stop hurting yourself.

Look, a fish. As long as I can make you look away you feel a little happier. Maybe a fish will work? The water looks really nice you know. Maybe go for a swim? That girl seems to listen to your new arrived teacher, and though you're not listening, he says that all training is called of today. He has a mission on his own, so he doesn't have time for you little shitheads. No, he didn't say it exactly like that, but I'm sure he meant it. Haha, I made you laugh. Oh, stop laughing aloud, stupid boy, Sasuke looks realty weirdly at you. Look! Look I say! He is opening and closing his mouth like that fish. He's speechless! He looks like fish, boy! Hahahaha!

Hah, that was funny. So, what are you saying? That girl is walking off now. She says goodbye, best you wave. Bye bye, we don't miss you, go and die and bury yourself cause no one wants to touch you. Yes, I know I'm mean, but you know that those weren't all my thoughts. Anyway, how about that bath? The sun is warming up now. You're warm after all. Yes, you're warm. Take these weird things off now. Don't know Why you keep wearing them day out and day in. They're only disturbing. If I got to say anything you would go naked all the time. It's comfortable. Yes, and the pants.

I look at the other boy from your eyes. He has his mouth open all the time now, and he is drooling. You don't see that, and you wouldn't believe if I told you. His eyes is widening as he realises that you don't wear any boxers. A little I have to say about that stuff. Why wear two layers over your butt when you're not freezing?

Stroke your hair backwards. Why? Just do it! Yes, just like that. He has a painful expression on his face, and when you turn away, I glance over to find him rubbing in front of his pants. He is doing it quite a lot when you look away. It's like he is walking around with a hard-on all the time. But I think it's only when you are around. I don't think that girl really affect him as much as you, my boy. I don't think he loves her.

I can't tell you this information though. The last time I did you beat the crap out of me and let me bleeding in here, saying that I wouldn't come up with such lies. That you would never make a person hard with your filthy disgusting body with me inside. It also really hurt. I know you don't hate me that way - you just hate the way I butt in - but it still hurt. If it wasn't because you were so fragile now, you would never take your clothes of in front of someone else. You don't know what I'm making you do. I make you seduce him, but you, boy, will not realise that until the dark sets in over the village and you are in your safe place again. Will you kill me? Will you thank me? It's a dangerous game I'm playing, but I have to risk my life to save yours. After all, you are my important person. I love you. Not in that way - I could never do that...but a love only we demons can love. It's special you know, and you should be Damn proud. You are, in your own silent way.

Dive in. In a nice bow, making almost no splash at all. Swim. Swim on your back. Swim like a butterfly. Dive under the water. Sty there for a while. Look at Sasuke when you come up. Just do it, don't ask stupid questions. Yes. He is looking. He is blushing. He is hard. You see it? Can you see it? He is hard. He is blushing. He is stammering. He is in love with you. Now I will be quiet. Do as your heart says, forget everything else.

"Why don't you come in?" Yes. Good question. Couldn't do it better myself. Sasuke is only nodding. He takes of his clothes in front of you. Look at it. Suck it in. Remember it. He is doing this for you. He's only in his underwear now, and when he takes it of you can see his fully erection.

He walks down into the water. The bridge is still empty at this time of the day, but If I was you I would swim a bit down where the river makes it connections to the sea. Just like that. Under that three, in the shadow. You and I think alike you know. You seem to read my mind.

Sasuke stops, and you look at him. I'm not doing anything anymore. I know you will show him you love by yourself now. So much for not telling him. Show him instead.

You lean down and smell in his scent. It's arousing. You nibble at his ear, and your breath fasten as his. You press your lips against his pink ones, and both of you are trembling. You are as hard as him, and your members touch each other, making moans rise in the shadow. Sasuke wrap his arms around you, and you press closer. You are grinding at each other now. It feels good. You have waited for this so long. No more keeping quiet. Here is a boy you can trust, boy. Tell him. Not now. Later. Maybe let me live and talk with him instead. He will make you happy. Let me sleep.

You take his limb in your hand, and he is gasping for more. Quickly you lift him up and he wrap his legs around your waist as his arms are wrapped around your neck. You quicken your pace, and the other hand sinks deeper to his hole. You don't need two hands to hold him up, not in the water. You enter him with you finger, and he is moving against it, sucking it in.

"More." He says. "More. I have done it before, imagining it was you. More." Sasuke has been training for you. Maybe he has touched himself down there every night, dreaming that is was your fingers, your erection, making him come.

But remember, he isn't just attracted to you, he loves you.

Your fingers has going up in numbers, and you pull them out only to replace it. None of you can thing anymore, you just to as your hearts is telling. You and him. You enter him, slowly, not wanting to hurt him all to much, but he press closer and make you go further in. He has longed for this, and so has you. Once you're buried to the hilt inside him, you let out your breath you have been holding for the second time this day. Eat shit girls whose name begins with an L. S? Who cares.

You kiss him softly as you lift him and push him down on your cock again. He screams in pleasure, and you growls. My genes. Sorry. You repeat the movements, and soon you found the perfect rhythm, and he pushes back. You moans, he screams, you pants, he cries out. It's wonderful. You are happy. You are where you belong. Your heart is resting, and you feel safe. No more worries. Just stick with him, and you will survive. Then I can sleep and rest too, when I know you are happy.

You move quick now, and you both are near the edge, and with a scream he comes all over you. His orgasm make you scream too, and you fill him with your loveseed, moving in and out of him until you're completely out and empty. You hold him close. You kiss him.

"I..." You say. No! Don't back down now! Don't loose it! Don't screw this up! Not after all job I've done! Don't stop believe! He loves you, stupid!

"I love you." You say. I breath out. You really scared me.

"And I you." That was the right answer. I love this boy as well, for making my boy happy. He knows what to say. You smile now. What about the girl?

"What about Sakura?" Sorry. Didn't think you would hear that.

"Let's forget about Sakura." "I don't love her." I mentally hug Sasuke.

You are smiling now. Smiling. Is it the invisible mask?

No, you say. This is the real one.

You may now be well yet. You have still things to do. Make Sasuke help you. Eat Something, I'm hungry. Something with meat in it. Then you crawl under you blanket. Don' forget to hold it up for your love. Warm his cold feet up. Take him into your arms. Kiss him wherever you want. Close your eyes. And don't forget to sleep. I don't. Sleep. Sleep well Sasuke. Good night. Oh, and don't mind that sound. It's just three beings snoring.


The end.