Rites of Passage: Sasuke
folder
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,221
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,221
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Rites of Passage: Sasuke
Title: Rites of Passage 2/3
Pairing: Orochimaru/Sasuke --- hints of Sasuke/Naruto
Genre: Manipulative Angst
Rating: NC-17
Word Length: 3.000 aprox
Beta: Cindelius (who’s awesome) and Asuka Kureru (who’s awesome too)
Summary: There are lessons Orochimaru feels Sasuke lacks. There are things Sasuke wanted, than he hadn’t really known he wanted. There are things better left unsaid.
”Maybe someday you’ll need to know how to get in and out of someone’s bed, to achieve your goals. Could you do this, Sasuke-kun? Could you crawl into Hoshigake Kisame’s bed if it would give you a chance to kill Itachi? Is your hatred for him strong enough?”
Author’s notes: The general idea for this fic was to explore the ‘first times’ of the three members of Team 7. Though each part is technically a stand-alone fic, and CAN be read on it's own; they all make up a short 3-chapter arc. I am also planning this to be the prequel to a Team 7 threesome fic, but that’s another story.
If you want to read the first part - Naruto's - it's on my profile page. :)
Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns.
Second Rite: Sasuke
“Manipulation is all about information. Having information would be the optimal situation, but the lack of it should not be a deterrent.” The smooth tones flowed like water; like dark, dark water. “What’s important is not what you know, but what your enemy thinks you know… or don’t know.”
“This is basic Academy stuff. Why are we even going over it?”
“Because, Sasuke-kun …” Those tar-like undertones feathered over his mind. “There are some things which you cannot believably ‘pretend’ to know. And if you have not experienced them for yourself, you will be caught as soon as you attempt to fake said knowledge.”
Sasuke’s face clouded. “Anything can be faked.”
“Not quite, Sasuke-kun. You might be able to fake ignorance, in this case. But not otherwise.”
“In ‘this’ case?” Sasuke pressed.
Orochimaru sighed, patiently belittling in his tranquillity. “Sasuke… there are certain nuances in the body and the mind, that can only be understood after they have been altered. You can pretend that you don’t know these things, but it won’t go both ways.” It was clear from the way in which Orochimaru was tapping his fingers that he wanted Sasuke to be interested.
“Fascinating,” Sasuke drawled, leaning back into the wall with a neutral look. The problem was that he did find his curiosity piqued, but he didn’t want to give Orochimaru the upper hand; not when Orochimaru seemed to coil tighter upon his chair the more they discussed this. Sasuke knew when he was being set up, but he didn’t know for what. And – damn him - Orochimaru had the gall to lecture him on the power of information, while studiously luring him into the kind of situations he warned Sasuke about. The man’s natural duplicity was downright infuriating.
Orochimaru’s lips curled as he studied Sasuke out of the corner of his eye. “Yes, fascinating indeed.”
The emphatic reply made Sasuke’s senses prickle. Something was definitively up, and it was starting to show. Orochimaru was constantly plotting, observing and analysing Sasuke’s responses, and attacking him to test his limits, but this was something different. Orochimaru’s appraising look was somehow… more unsettling than usual. Orochimaru wasn’t sizing him up for battle, it was a different kind of assessment; one that made Sasuke feel young, which he didn’t like, not in the least bit.
Sasuke kept himself carefully still. “Alright, I’m listening.” He needed to know what this was about, if he was going to fight it back.
Orochimaru laughed at his blatant attempt at manoeuvring things in another direction. “Ah… Sasuke-kun. You are too amusing for your own good. But not nearly as good at manipulating people as you think you are.”
“Since when has that been your problem? I thought you only liked me for my body’s natural abilities, not my interpretation on shinobi tactics.” Even as he said it, Sasuke felt a prickle of heat creep up his neck. He had said similar things to Orochimaru on several occasions across the past year and a half, but somehow, today it was different --- and not a good kind of different.
Orochimaru licked his lips thoughtfully, and Sasuke found himself staring at that long, curving tongue. “That’s true.” He then leaned back on his chair and pushed his long black hair behind his shoulders with his hands. His muscles were starkly pale, white as bone. Sasuke had trouble pulling his eyes away. “Our agreement is based on what I can do with your body after we kill your brother.” Orochimaru caught Sasuke’s wandering gaze and smiled thinly, leaning back further. “And… I like your body, Sasuke-kun.”
Sasuke’s mind went blank, and then rose in an uproar. He only barely managed to maintain his composure. He might be inexperienced, but even he could pick on the underlying tone in Orochimaru’s words. “I think we’ve established that you do,” Sasuke snapped back, coldly insolent and desperate to slide their conversation into a different tone.
“Yes, I will like being inside of it.”
Sasuke shifted, mind racing. The words were nothing new to him, but the tone was completely different. Sasuke wasn’t sure he was truly grasping the interpretation Orochimaru was hinting at. Or rather, Sasuke desperately hoped it wasn’t what he was beginning to think it was. He needed to backtrack, quickly. “Not before we---“
“--- kill your brother, yes.” Orochimaru sighed patiently, robbing Sasuke of the chance to steer the conversation away. Orochimaru’s lips curved back into a smile, as if amused by Sasuke’s ever-present refrain. “Though some things will have to happen before that, I’m sure you understand.” Orochimaru’s voice was soft, as if he were talking to a wayward pet.
Sasuke suppressed the shudder that wanted to crawl up his spine. He let his frown deepen, determined to get the conversation back under his control. “Some of those things, I hope, include teaching me better jutsus, of which you know many, but speak very little.” Orochimaru’s smile faded somewhat and Sasuke pushed on, before the sudden advantage slipped from him altogether. “So far, my strongest technique is still something I gained in Konoha, from Kakashi, who was – supposedly? – inferior to you, Orochimaru-sama.”
Orochimaru’s smile returned, sharper than before. “I was thinking of a mildly different kind of teaching in this case. One that would have been rather… strange… for you to have learned from Kakashi. Though not impossible, but… strange.” Orochimaru’s mildness cut like a blade.
Sasuke searched his mind for a possible answer that could divert the conversation elsewhere, but it was becoming all too clear to him that Orochimaru had an agenda, and he was going to stick to it. Sasuke kept his back defiantly straight as he decided that the only direction he could choose was forwards. At the very least, he would get some clarity out of Orochimaru.
“And by ‘mildly different kind of teaching’, what you mean is---?” He left the sentence open, waiting for Orochimaru to fill it in.
Viper eyes narrowed in amusement, letting him know that this tactic – like the previous ones – had been read through. “That as much as my body knows, one cannot expect all of my muscular memory to transfer into yours. Across the years I have stored a vast amount of information that is purely muscular or instinctive. Unfortunately, this type of ‘memory’ does not transfer well with the jutsu I plan on using.” Sasuke wondered briefly why Orochimaru would tell him this. And then---
“So,” Sasuke surmised aloud, keeping his voice level, “You want me to undergo a particular type of training, so that you are not set back by my physical inexperience after you have transferred?”
Orochimaru’s low chuckle made Sasuke’s hackles rise. “In a way, I suppose, Sasuke-kun.” Orochimaru kept laughing quietly, a hissy sound that made Sasuke more uncomfortable. “There are some things that I would rather have my new body deal with before the transfer. Consider it a favour on my behalf.” Orochimaru’s voice had dropped to a throaty whisper, one that Sasuke had never heard before.
“A favour? To you, you mean?” Sasuke growled, pressing his back into the cold stone behind him, not quite certain of why he felt so bared. “What makes you think I don’t have the experience you’re talking about?” It was a last resort, and he knew it.
Orochimaru laughed out loud and one of the candles went out. “For one thing, you haven’t directly addressed the matter, which leads me to think you’re not sure of what I’m talking about. Not completely sure, at least.” The sudden directness made Sasuke’s blood freeze. The game was up, it was a direct strike he was facing now. “And, Sasuke-kun… the way in which you’re pressing your back against that wall is more than illustrative of your ‘experience’.”
Fuck you, is what Sasuke wanted to say, but he knew better. “You assume too much.”
“And you insist upon testing my limits, boy.” Orochimaru licked his lips, grinning from ear to ear. “Which is rather refreshing. In fact, I’ll give you this: if you behave, I’ll teach you something you want to know.”
Sasuke forced a laugh past his throat, a meagre defence. “You want me to whore myself to you for jutsus? I had no idea you could sink so low.”
“Says the traitor,” Orochimaru pointed out. “To his mentor, who is just as dangerous. Must we really go into this, Sasuke-kun? There are some things I have no interest in going through again… many of which you should not miss out on. All experiences are to one’s gain, are they not?”
“I don’t see how I could possibly benefit from this,” Sasuke replied curtly, pushing himself away from the wall.
Orochimaru shrugged. “Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Maybe someday you’ll need to know how to get in and out of someone’s bed, to achieve your goals. Could you do this, Sasuke-kun? Could you crawl into Hoshigake Kisame’s bed if it would give you a chance to kill Itachi? Is your hatred for him strong enough?”
Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but his throat didn’t respond.
(Hate me. Live and hate me. Survive and live a disgraceful life, just so you can hate me more.)
“Sasuke-kun?”
Sasuke had wanted to live by his own path, not the road Itachi had set for him. But the final destination was the same, so maybe there were some things which he would not be able to avoid either way. He had once said he would do anything for power.
And the things he’d already done---- those, he couldn’t even let himself dwell on. Compared to that, this was just---
“I’ll do it.”
--- part of the transaction.
* * *
Orochimaru’s fingers were unexpectedly gentle, but his tongue was rough, like a cat’s. His skin was cold and leathery, pale enough to shock and yet, no veins showed through. It was an inhuman body, disturbing in its strangeness and yet – even to Sasuke – there was a decadent beauty to it.
Orochimaru’s seemed ageless, pale and cold like a statue. Sasuke didn’t know if this was a sign of how long he’d been alive, a side-effect of his many transfers, or a condition of his own nature. Sasuke wondered if his own – noticeably pallid – skin would turn as cold and leathery as this, someday. Had Orochimaru picked him because of his dark hair and fair skin, as well as his sharingan? When a cold hand traced the line of Sasuke’s spine, he had to wonder if Orochimaru hadn’t been planning on this all along.
Orochimaru’s skin might have been mostly rough and cold, but his belly was warm, and so were his thighs. Sasuke admitted – begrudgingly- that all that pale skin, the lanky black hair and those eyes… Well, there was something vaguely alluring there. Something that made him want to move closer. Except that, each time he drew closer, he wished he hadn’t moved at all, and that he could run far, far away.
Orochimaru found Sasuke’s hesitancy amusing, and this knowledge added shame to the many things that Sasuke felt. Sasuke found the whole matter confusing and ungainly at first, and then--- oh, then… Orochimaru did things Sasuke couldn’t have possibly predicted. He didn’t understand what drove the man to be so intent on his reactions at first, but it gradually stole over him that this too, was about power. It was about knowing more, and using it against him.
He wanted to kick that snake-like face in as soon as he understood this, but he couldn’t. Not when Orochimaru was leaning over his pelvis, hands on his knees, lips parting--- And even when he managed to enjoy it, he couldn’t silence the part of his mind that screamed at him that this was beyond humiliating. His own gratification was the worst part, though: he shouldn’t have liked it, and yet, he did. Even as it humiliated him to enjoy it, he knew there was no way in which he could have disliked it. Orochimaru was just that good. His tongue was virtually everywhere, and there was too much about those touches that Sasuke hadn’t even known – hadn’t even imagined – would feel good. Sasuke’s body was not on his side and it suddenly struck him it would always be so, for it was no longer truly his own.
Other things surprised him too. No one had ever told him what it would feel like to have his knees dangling over another man’s shoulders. No one had warned him that it might actually be enjoyable. That thought alone made Sasuke wish he were miles away, sitting in the sun while Sakura and Naruto chattered on about daily – stupid – missions. It made him remember pulling cats out of trees, painting walls that never ended, and hearing Kakashi chuckle when they bickered.
No one had told him that another person’s arms around him would make him feel so terrible. When Orochimaru touched his face and neck, it reminded him of--- gods, it made him think of ---- of… Naruto, pulling on his collar to yell at him. Or Sakura, brushing his hair back to put alcohol on a bruise. It was Orochimaru, unmistakably, but the warmth generated by their combined bodies was something else entirely. Sasuke arched his back and found himself being pushed down by relentless arms.
Naruto had often pushed him down like that.
Sakura had caught and held him like this when Rock Lee kicked him in midair.
It had been warm like this, when they’d had to share a tent during all those silly, useless missions that lead nowhere, nowhere, nowhere - damnit, so why was he remembering them? Why now?
Orochimaru twisted his neck oddly to close his mouth over Sasuke’s curse-seal. Sasuke’s mouth opened on a hoarse breath, ripped apart by the sudden sensation. He twisted, breath short. “N—na---“ Sasuke bit his lip before the thought even slipped out.
(Live disgracefully, foolish brother. And hate me for it…)
And then Orochimaru’s invasive rocking became all too real, almost inescapable. Orochimaru’s breathing was ragged and low, as he pressed his face into Sasuke’s shoulder. Naruto had once hugged Sasuke after training, and his breath had touched him in the same way. Soft, short exhalations, the tickle of hair against his cheek and a warm, solid body, grounding him to this world. If he closed his eyes, he could still see Naruto smiling over their fight, that idiotic smile of his, so full of all those ridiculous feelings and the idiot should have know better than to— to---
Sasuke cried out, digging his fingers into Orochimaru’s exposed shoulderblades. It felt as if his spine were melting, something in him was fading to silence as all his muscles unwound. He thought he’d dissolve and there would be nothing there, except that instant of perfect silence.
Then he was breathing again, and Orochimaru was still moving, a bit faster as he chuckled. Sasuke opened his eyes to the darkness of the room, with Orochimaru’s body still moving above his. The memory of Konoha was still there, in the background, growing darker and twisted with each movement from the man above him.
Why was he even thinking about them? Why now? He had left them behind for power! And this had always been about power! He didn’t love them. So why---?
Why?
* * *
There was no denying what Sasuke had done that night.
In the silence that followed, after Orochimaru had left, Sasuke remembered what he had said to Naruto when they parted.
All my dreams lie in the past.
He had never realised how true that was. How every dream he had was pulled into the abyss behind him. Everything in his life was swallowed up in the darkness of his past, in the darkness of his path. Konoha, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, all of it. Every moment he’d spent with them, thinking it would break his heart to lose his family again, all of that, had made him weaker.
From this moment on, he would become stronger. He would become the strongest man of all in order to kill Itachi, no matter what it took. For a man with a future like that, no dream beyond power was admissible. No dream was possible.
(Yo! Bastard!)
Not even if they were attainable dreams.
(Sasuke-kun, I love you and I---)
Nor if he still wanted them.
(You bastard, I’m your friend!)
And much less, with those dreams he hadn’t even known he wanted.
”Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”
---- Anne Frank
So, I went off into a creepier tangent for this one, but I like the end result. I hope you all like it too? ^^ The last part is Sakura's... and it will be NaruSaku! :D (jeez, what's up with me and all this het-ness all of a sudden?)
Pairing: Orochimaru/Sasuke --- hints of Sasuke/Naruto
Genre: Manipulative Angst
Rating: NC-17
Word Length: 3.000 aprox
Beta: Cindelius (who’s awesome) and Asuka Kureru (who’s awesome too)
Summary: There are lessons Orochimaru feels Sasuke lacks. There are things Sasuke wanted, than he hadn’t really known he wanted. There are things better left unsaid.
”Maybe someday you’ll need to know how to get in and out of someone’s bed, to achieve your goals. Could you do this, Sasuke-kun? Could you crawl into Hoshigake Kisame’s bed if it would give you a chance to kill Itachi? Is your hatred for him strong enough?”
Author’s notes: The general idea for this fic was to explore the ‘first times’ of the three members of Team 7. Though each part is technically a stand-alone fic, and CAN be read on it's own; they all make up a short 3-chapter arc. I am also planning this to be the prequel to a Team 7 threesome fic, but that’s another story.
If you want to read the first part - Naruto's - it's on my profile page. :)
Disclaimer: Kishimoto pwns.
Second Rite: Sasuke
“Manipulation is all about information. Having information would be the optimal situation, but the lack of it should not be a deterrent.” The smooth tones flowed like water; like dark, dark water. “What’s important is not what you know, but what your enemy thinks you know… or don’t know.”
“This is basic Academy stuff. Why are we even going over it?”
“Because, Sasuke-kun …” Those tar-like undertones feathered over his mind. “There are some things which you cannot believably ‘pretend’ to know. And if you have not experienced them for yourself, you will be caught as soon as you attempt to fake said knowledge.”
Sasuke’s face clouded. “Anything can be faked.”
“Not quite, Sasuke-kun. You might be able to fake ignorance, in this case. But not otherwise.”
“In ‘this’ case?” Sasuke pressed.
Orochimaru sighed, patiently belittling in his tranquillity. “Sasuke… there are certain nuances in the body and the mind, that can only be understood after they have been altered. You can pretend that you don’t know these things, but it won’t go both ways.” It was clear from the way in which Orochimaru was tapping his fingers that he wanted Sasuke to be interested.
“Fascinating,” Sasuke drawled, leaning back into the wall with a neutral look. The problem was that he did find his curiosity piqued, but he didn’t want to give Orochimaru the upper hand; not when Orochimaru seemed to coil tighter upon his chair the more they discussed this. Sasuke knew when he was being set up, but he didn’t know for what. And – damn him - Orochimaru had the gall to lecture him on the power of information, while studiously luring him into the kind of situations he warned Sasuke about. The man’s natural duplicity was downright infuriating.
Orochimaru’s lips curled as he studied Sasuke out of the corner of his eye. “Yes, fascinating indeed.”
The emphatic reply made Sasuke’s senses prickle. Something was definitively up, and it was starting to show. Orochimaru was constantly plotting, observing and analysing Sasuke’s responses, and attacking him to test his limits, but this was something different. Orochimaru’s appraising look was somehow… more unsettling than usual. Orochimaru wasn’t sizing him up for battle, it was a different kind of assessment; one that made Sasuke feel young, which he didn’t like, not in the least bit.
Sasuke kept himself carefully still. “Alright, I’m listening.” He needed to know what this was about, if he was going to fight it back.
Orochimaru laughed at his blatant attempt at manoeuvring things in another direction. “Ah… Sasuke-kun. You are too amusing for your own good. But not nearly as good at manipulating people as you think you are.”
“Since when has that been your problem? I thought you only liked me for my body’s natural abilities, not my interpretation on shinobi tactics.” Even as he said it, Sasuke felt a prickle of heat creep up his neck. He had said similar things to Orochimaru on several occasions across the past year and a half, but somehow, today it was different --- and not a good kind of different.
Orochimaru licked his lips thoughtfully, and Sasuke found himself staring at that long, curving tongue. “That’s true.” He then leaned back on his chair and pushed his long black hair behind his shoulders with his hands. His muscles were starkly pale, white as bone. Sasuke had trouble pulling his eyes away. “Our agreement is based on what I can do with your body after we kill your brother.” Orochimaru caught Sasuke’s wandering gaze and smiled thinly, leaning back further. “And… I like your body, Sasuke-kun.”
Sasuke’s mind went blank, and then rose in an uproar. He only barely managed to maintain his composure. He might be inexperienced, but even he could pick on the underlying tone in Orochimaru’s words. “I think we’ve established that you do,” Sasuke snapped back, coldly insolent and desperate to slide their conversation into a different tone.
“Yes, I will like being inside of it.”
Sasuke shifted, mind racing. The words were nothing new to him, but the tone was completely different. Sasuke wasn’t sure he was truly grasping the interpretation Orochimaru was hinting at. Or rather, Sasuke desperately hoped it wasn’t what he was beginning to think it was. He needed to backtrack, quickly. “Not before we---“
“--- kill your brother, yes.” Orochimaru sighed patiently, robbing Sasuke of the chance to steer the conversation away. Orochimaru’s lips curved back into a smile, as if amused by Sasuke’s ever-present refrain. “Though some things will have to happen before that, I’m sure you understand.” Orochimaru’s voice was soft, as if he were talking to a wayward pet.
Sasuke suppressed the shudder that wanted to crawl up his spine. He let his frown deepen, determined to get the conversation back under his control. “Some of those things, I hope, include teaching me better jutsus, of which you know many, but speak very little.” Orochimaru’s smile faded somewhat and Sasuke pushed on, before the sudden advantage slipped from him altogether. “So far, my strongest technique is still something I gained in Konoha, from Kakashi, who was – supposedly? – inferior to you, Orochimaru-sama.”
Orochimaru’s smile returned, sharper than before. “I was thinking of a mildly different kind of teaching in this case. One that would have been rather… strange… for you to have learned from Kakashi. Though not impossible, but… strange.” Orochimaru’s mildness cut like a blade.
Sasuke searched his mind for a possible answer that could divert the conversation elsewhere, but it was becoming all too clear to him that Orochimaru had an agenda, and he was going to stick to it. Sasuke kept his back defiantly straight as he decided that the only direction he could choose was forwards. At the very least, he would get some clarity out of Orochimaru.
“And by ‘mildly different kind of teaching’, what you mean is---?” He left the sentence open, waiting for Orochimaru to fill it in.
Viper eyes narrowed in amusement, letting him know that this tactic – like the previous ones – had been read through. “That as much as my body knows, one cannot expect all of my muscular memory to transfer into yours. Across the years I have stored a vast amount of information that is purely muscular or instinctive. Unfortunately, this type of ‘memory’ does not transfer well with the jutsu I plan on using.” Sasuke wondered briefly why Orochimaru would tell him this. And then---
“So,” Sasuke surmised aloud, keeping his voice level, “You want me to undergo a particular type of training, so that you are not set back by my physical inexperience after you have transferred?”
Orochimaru’s low chuckle made Sasuke’s hackles rise. “In a way, I suppose, Sasuke-kun.” Orochimaru kept laughing quietly, a hissy sound that made Sasuke more uncomfortable. “There are some things that I would rather have my new body deal with before the transfer. Consider it a favour on my behalf.” Orochimaru’s voice had dropped to a throaty whisper, one that Sasuke had never heard before.
“A favour? To you, you mean?” Sasuke growled, pressing his back into the cold stone behind him, not quite certain of why he felt so bared. “What makes you think I don’t have the experience you’re talking about?” It was a last resort, and he knew it.
Orochimaru laughed out loud and one of the candles went out. “For one thing, you haven’t directly addressed the matter, which leads me to think you’re not sure of what I’m talking about. Not completely sure, at least.” The sudden directness made Sasuke’s blood freeze. The game was up, it was a direct strike he was facing now. “And, Sasuke-kun… the way in which you’re pressing your back against that wall is more than illustrative of your ‘experience’.”
Fuck you, is what Sasuke wanted to say, but he knew better. “You assume too much.”
“And you insist upon testing my limits, boy.” Orochimaru licked his lips, grinning from ear to ear. “Which is rather refreshing. In fact, I’ll give you this: if you behave, I’ll teach you something you want to know.”
Sasuke forced a laugh past his throat, a meagre defence. “You want me to whore myself to you for jutsus? I had no idea you could sink so low.”
“Says the traitor,” Orochimaru pointed out. “To his mentor, who is just as dangerous. Must we really go into this, Sasuke-kun? There are some things I have no interest in going through again… many of which you should not miss out on. All experiences are to one’s gain, are they not?”
“I don’t see how I could possibly benefit from this,” Sasuke replied curtly, pushing himself away from the wall.
Orochimaru shrugged. “Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Maybe someday you’ll need to know how to get in and out of someone’s bed, to achieve your goals. Could you do this, Sasuke-kun? Could you crawl into Hoshigake Kisame’s bed if it would give you a chance to kill Itachi? Is your hatred for him strong enough?”
Sasuke opened his mouth to answer, but his throat didn’t respond.
(Hate me. Live and hate me. Survive and live a disgraceful life, just so you can hate me more.)
“Sasuke-kun?”
Sasuke had wanted to live by his own path, not the road Itachi had set for him. But the final destination was the same, so maybe there were some things which he would not be able to avoid either way. He had once said he would do anything for power.
And the things he’d already done---- those, he couldn’t even let himself dwell on. Compared to that, this was just---
“I’ll do it.”
--- part of the transaction.
Orochimaru’s fingers were unexpectedly gentle, but his tongue was rough, like a cat’s. His skin was cold and leathery, pale enough to shock and yet, no veins showed through. It was an inhuman body, disturbing in its strangeness and yet – even to Sasuke – there was a decadent beauty to it.
Orochimaru’s seemed ageless, pale and cold like a statue. Sasuke didn’t know if this was a sign of how long he’d been alive, a side-effect of his many transfers, or a condition of his own nature. Sasuke wondered if his own – noticeably pallid – skin would turn as cold and leathery as this, someday. Had Orochimaru picked him because of his dark hair and fair skin, as well as his sharingan? When a cold hand traced the line of Sasuke’s spine, he had to wonder if Orochimaru hadn’t been planning on this all along.
Orochimaru’s skin might have been mostly rough and cold, but his belly was warm, and so were his thighs. Sasuke admitted – begrudgingly- that all that pale skin, the lanky black hair and those eyes… Well, there was something vaguely alluring there. Something that made him want to move closer. Except that, each time he drew closer, he wished he hadn’t moved at all, and that he could run far, far away.
Orochimaru found Sasuke’s hesitancy amusing, and this knowledge added shame to the many things that Sasuke felt. Sasuke found the whole matter confusing and ungainly at first, and then--- oh, then… Orochimaru did things Sasuke couldn’t have possibly predicted. He didn’t understand what drove the man to be so intent on his reactions at first, but it gradually stole over him that this too, was about power. It was about knowing more, and using it against him.
He wanted to kick that snake-like face in as soon as he understood this, but he couldn’t. Not when Orochimaru was leaning over his pelvis, hands on his knees, lips parting--- And even when he managed to enjoy it, he couldn’t silence the part of his mind that screamed at him that this was beyond humiliating. His own gratification was the worst part, though: he shouldn’t have liked it, and yet, he did. Even as it humiliated him to enjoy it, he knew there was no way in which he could have disliked it. Orochimaru was just that good. His tongue was virtually everywhere, and there was too much about those touches that Sasuke hadn’t even known – hadn’t even imagined – would feel good. Sasuke’s body was not on his side and it suddenly struck him it would always be so, for it was no longer truly his own.
Other things surprised him too. No one had ever told him what it would feel like to have his knees dangling over another man’s shoulders. No one had warned him that it might actually be enjoyable. That thought alone made Sasuke wish he were miles away, sitting in the sun while Sakura and Naruto chattered on about daily – stupid – missions. It made him remember pulling cats out of trees, painting walls that never ended, and hearing Kakashi chuckle when they bickered.
No one had told him that another person’s arms around him would make him feel so terrible. When Orochimaru touched his face and neck, it reminded him of--- gods, it made him think of ---- of… Naruto, pulling on his collar to yell at him. Or Sakura, brushing his hair back to put alcohol on a bruise. It was Orochimaru, unmistakably, but the warmth generated by their combined bodies was something else entirely. Sasuke arched his back and found himself being pushed down by relentless arms.
Naruto had often pushed him down like that.
Sakura had caught and held him like this when Rock Lee kicked him in midair.
It had been warm like this, when they’d had to share a tent during all those silly, useless missions that lead nowhere, nowhere, nowhere - damnit, so why was he remembering them? Why now?
Orochimaru twisted his neck oddly to close his mouth over Sasuke’s curse-seal. Sasuke’s mouth opened on a hoarse breath, ripped apart by the sudden sensation. He twisted, breath short. “N—na---“ Sasuke bit his lip before the thought even slipped out.
(Live disgracefully, foolish brother. And hate me for it…)
And then Orochimaru’s invasive rocking became all too real, almost inescapable. Orochimaru’s breathing was ragged and low, as he pressed his face into Sasuke’s shoulder. Naruto had once hugged Sasuke after training, and his breath had touched him in the same way. Soft, short exhalations, the tickle of hair against his cheek and a warm, solid body, grounding him to this world. If he closed his eyes, he could still see Naruto smiling over their fight, that idiotic smile of his, so full of all those ridiculous feelings and the idiot should have know better than to— to---
Sasuke cried out, digging his fingers into Orochimaru’s exposed shoulderblades. It felt as if his spine were melting, something in him was fading to silence as all his muscles unwound. He thought he’d dissolve and there would be nothing there, except that instant of perfect silence.
Then he was breathing again, and Orochimaru was still moving, a bit faster as he chuckled. Sasuke opened his eyes to the darkness of the room, with Orochimaru’s body still moving above his. The memory of Konoha was still there, in the background, growing darker and twisted with each movement from the man above him.
Why was he even thinking about them? Why now? He had left them behind for power! And this had always been about power! He didn’t love them. So why---?
Why?
There was no denying what Sasuke had done that night.
In the silence that followed, after Orochimaru had left, Sasuke remembered what he had said to Naruto when they parted.
All my dreams lie in the past.
He had never realised how true that was. How every dream he had was pulled into the abyss behind him. Everything in his life was swallowed up in the darkness of his past, in the darkness of his path. Konoha, Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, all of it. Every moment he’d spent with them, thinking it would break his heart to lose his family again, all of that, had made him weaker.
From this moment on, he would become stronger. He would become the strongest man of all in order to kill Itachi, no matter what it took. For a man with a future like that, no dream beyond power was admissible. No dream was possible.
(Yo! Bastard!)
Not even if they were attainable dreams.
(Sasuke-kun, I love you and I---)
Nor if he still wanted them.
(You bastard, I’m your friend!)
And much less, with those dreams he hadn’t even known he wanted.
”Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”
---- Anne Frank
So, I went off into a creepier tangent for this one, but I like the end result. I hope you all like it too? ^^ The last part is Sakura's... and it will be NaruSaku! :D (jeez, what's up with me and all this het-ness all of a sudden?)