Second Best

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its affiliates nor am I making any profit from this work.

Second Best

He was dead last. Always the loser. Used to it by now. Or at least he should have been. He’d always tried though. Honestly, he only wanted people to see the man behind the beast. That’s all he’d ever wanted.

But it never happened.

When he’d mastered the Shadow Clone technique, it wasn’t enough.

When he’d asked Sakura-chan out multiple times, he wasn’t enough.

When he’d saved his friends and defeated countless enemies, his glory was short lived.

When he’d finally, finally brought Sasuke back to the village, he was overshadowed.

He should have been used to it. Second place was his home. It always had been and he’d known it. Everyone only saw the screw up, the idiot, or the Kyuubi.

Except Iruka-sensei.

Iruka-sensei saw him, even when he hid behind fake grins. He saw him when he cried, he saw him when he wanted to cry, and comforted him when he couldn’t cry.

Iruka-sensei always put him first, even before his duty to Konoha, he always came first.

And it was the best feeling in the world to know that someone loved you unconditionally. To know that no matter how you felt, or what you did and said, that someone loved you.

It was…bliss. When things were horrible, and he’d been through much, when things inside him hurt him so badly that he just wanted to scream, Iruka-sensei was there, loving him and smiling at him in that way that made the sun dim out of respect.

But then…well, they always say everything changes don’t they? He didn’t think Iruka-sensei would change though.

He couldn’t remember if it had happened gradually or over night

All he believed now is that one day, he noticed Iruka-sensei ignoring him.

Of course he’d reasoned that it was just natural. No one could put up with a single person for so very long without a break. Iruka-sensei was human after all. It had made him laugh at the time

And then, Iruka-sensei started missing having lunch with him at the ramen stand everyday. And then Iruka-sensei started missing their weekly visits to the bathhouse.

He…he told himself that Iruka-sensei was just busy. A whole new crop of wanna-be ninjas had trumped into the Academy, making teachers work extra hard to keep up with the new flow.

So…it was still okay. Iruka-sensei still loved him. Still put him first.

Real love was unconditional like that.

Besides, he still had his friends. He had people that respected him and cared for him a lot. But…it wasn’t the same. It was never the same.

And then one day, when he’d been trudging back from a mission that had worn him to the bone, he’d seen them.

It was an accident, he hadn’t been following Iruka-sensei around or anything. And he certainly hadn’t meant to look, hadn’t meant to stare, hadn’t meant to stay….

After he’d brought Sasuke back, they’d never been friends again. Oh they put on a good show for others. They would fight and tease each other with old names. They would go on missions together and would be a force few could compete with.

But they weren’t friends.

How could they be? There were too many open wounds that had refused to heal and had been left unattended to fester. Neither one could forgive the other. They never talked about it, but it was there.

Underneath their playing, there was hatred. And it wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he wished it would.

And when he’d seen them, standing so close together, Sasuke and Iruka-sensei, looking at each other in that way….

He never hated Iruka-sensei. Not once ever. It wasn’t in him to hate Iruka-sensei, not someone who loved him so deeply.

And so when he left his home that night, when everything was still and dead and quiet, it wasn’t out of hate.

He was too crushed to feel.

He just knew he needed Iruka-sensei to love him again in that dizzyingly unconditional way that made him feel like he’d finally won at something.

He crept through the village like a wraith, eyes burning and heart desperate.

And Iruka-sensei…beautiful Iruka-sensei never shouted his alarm.

Not after Naruto slipped into his bedroom window. Not when Naruto crept under the blankets to lie beside him. Not when Naruto started touching him. Not when Naruto put a hand over his mouth. And not when Naruto forced his way between his thighs.

He did cry though. But it was just a little bit before Naruto comforted him and made him feel better. When Naruto explained that he loved him even as he bled, he stopped and he endured the rest silently.

Naruto sent flowers the next day when Iruka-sensei was taken to the hospital after being found by an assistant teacher. There was an investigation too. But Naruto wasn’t worried.

He went and visited Iruka-sensei everyday for a week. He said he loved Iruka-sensei when he saw him. He smiled at him while he rested on the hospital bed, watching him with steady doe brown eyes.

He loved Iruka-sensei. He told the investigators that too, the ones who were supposed to find out what happened, who had raped the Academy teacher.

But that was stupid. He didn’t rape Iruka-sensei. Iruka-sensei loved him. It was different.

And he’d keep getting those looks from others, even now when he ate with Iruka-sensei at the ramen stand everyday for lunch and when they went to the bathhouse together once a week.

But it didn’t matter. He didn’t care. They couldn’t prove anything unless Iruka-sensei told. And Iruka-sensei would never tell.

Because he loved him.

And it was the best feeling in the world to be loved.