The Meaning of Life

It was an interesting and puzzling occurrence when he first opened his eyes to the brilliant sunlight, cloudless sky and green grass.

Why?

He had been dying for some time; it was what had caused him to fail his precious Orochimaru. However, when Kimimaro opened his eyes, he knew he was not in the afterlife. When he sat up and looked around, he saw that he was merely still in the field where he had lost a battle against a boy named Gaara.

In the time that he was asleep his two opponents had disappeared, as had his bones that once jutted out of the ground like an ivory forest. These two facts had not bothered him though- It was the very detail that he was alive to witness them that left him unsettled.

It was an interesting and puzzling occurrence to stand with his body’s strength once again after he had fallen to a blanket of darkness that he had been sure would embrace him for the rest of time.

He had not slept for very long, three to five days he measured by the apparent but still in progress reparation the greenery around him had managed.

However, time meant nothing to him.

It seemed he had cheated death once again and so with this extended life he would continue to serve Orochimaru’s purpose in any way he could. He was no longer a potential vessel, but perhaps if he returned, healed as he seemed to be, Orochimaru could give his life meaning once again.

Weeks passed, and his searching was all in vain. Every hide out he went to was empty and every person he remembered he could not find. Orochimaru had disappeared and because of that, Kimimaro was alone.

He traveled aimlessly for two years, wandering all over the country, exploring villages. But there was no meaning to it; he should have just died in the field.

His body grew taller and his hair grew longer, but he knew he was still unmistakable. Orochimaru obviously hadn’t sent anyone out to find him; he had been expected to die. This revelation neither shocked, nor upset Kimimaro, but for a while he had held on to the small sliver of hope that Orochimaru would surprise him.

By the time he walked into the small village that was located at the base of a large mountain pass that divided the fire country from the wind, Kimimaro had lost that hope.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The village was a quiet one, even with the Peach Blossom Festival that was going on. Kimimaro, who had made a bit of money with some occasional bounty hunting, had acquired a room in one of the smaller motels.

He didn’t feel like remaining stationary just yet, so he wandered the village, taking in the sites of laughing children and smiling parents. It was a surreal setting for him as he pressed through the crowd of happy people. The only other time he had seen so many smiles was the first and only time he had seen his family, the Kaguya clan.

But the people he was passing, they weren’t smiling from an all consuming lust for blood that drove them mad. They were smiling with joy and delight as they puttered about the festival.

Kimimaro scanned the crowd more out of habit than purpose; he knew that he would probably never see Orochimaru again. Although if he did, he wouldn’t even know what to say; he was supposed to be dead plain and simple. Orochimaru would have no use for him, no one would. In a way he preferred to never be found; that way, during days that he was feeling a bit more gullible, he could least pretend that he still had a reason to exist.

“What part of ‘FUCK OFF’ are you not quite getting? The ‘FUCK’? The ‘OFF’? Or a combination of the two syllables?”

Kimimaro blinked and looked back over his shoulder to a booth for fried squid. A grey haired youth in a white yukata was surrounded by three older men who were sneering at him. He had never seen any of the other members of the Sound Five in anything but their sound uniforms, but the disgruntled look on the pretty face was a dead giveaway.

It was one of the twins.

Which one he couldn’t be sure as he had never seen fit to differentiate between the two. Still, the younger ninja would probably be able to take him to Orochimaru. Despite the odd fear he had cultivated over the past year of Orochimaru confirming his uselessness, Kimimaro did not stop himself from approaching the small crowd.

“Excuse me” He gently brushed past one of the men, idly noticing the hint of sake on his breath.

His ex-teammate stared at him in nothing short of shock, “What are you doing here?”

By this time the men had noticed that Kimimaro was a bit of a hindrance to their sport of mocking the small one’s feminine wiles and turned to him in annoyance, “What do you want boy? Can’t you see we’re busy?”

“I would like to speak with him” Kimimaro wrapped an arm around the other boy’s waist and stared hard at the older three, “Or did you have pressing business with my friend?” At the frigid look the burly men shrank back. The past couple of years of growing blessed Kimimaro with a far more threatening aura then his once rather charming looks had provided.

Once Kimimaro was able to lead them to a more private setting, on the roof of the inn he was staying at, he looked at the boy, “Which one are you?”

“Ukon” The boy huffed, “And I didn’t need any help… And what the Hell are you doing alive?”

Not put off in the least by the bratty attitude he knew the twins for Kimimaro shrugged and looked up at the sky, “I don’t know why I’m alive… I just woke up one day” He turned his gaze back to Ukon, “What business do you have here?”

“None, I’m just passing through” Despite his haughty tone Ukon still seemed a bit hesitant, “and you?”

“I am the same… How is Orochimaru? Was he able to obtain the Uchiha as his vessel?” He nearly dreaded the thought of returning to the Sound as much as he yearned for it, but still, it wouldn’t hurt knowing that he precious person was in good health.

“I wouldn’t know,” Ukon suddenly seemed a bit more relaxed after the question, “I haven’t been anywhere near any of the hideouts I know about in two years”

Kimimaro blinked, “Why is that?”

Ukon puffed his bangs away from his face and crossed his arms, “They think I am dead, and if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer to keep it that way”

So the twins had found the freedom he had always known they craved. None of the others were devoted to Orochimaru like he had been; they had all been captives that would run the moment they got the chance, “Where is your brother?”

“Why would I tell you?” Ukon eyed him, “You haven’t been in contact with Orochimaru either, correct?”

“Of course; I had actually been wondering if you would be able to show me to him. All the old hideouts have been abandoned” He frowned at the realization that spread across Ukon’s face, “What do you know?”

“Only that the Sand may have moved”

“The Sand?” Kimimaro tilted his head to the side. How would the Sand know anything thing, they had all been very careful to not give away their location.

“Yes, Sakon and I got a bit… Inebriated one night, and tried to kill one of the former Kazekage’s brats” Ukon glared at Kimimaro’s chest, obviously not to happy about the outcome.

“You failed to do so?” Kimimaro did not hide his amusement at the twins’ blunder.

“Yes, we did,” Hissed Ukon, “And of course they knew who we were, so we told them everything we could about Orochimaru and the Sound”

“You were interrogated?”

“No, they gave us tea and we started talking” Ukon glared at Kimimaro’s face now, “We have no loyalty to him, you’ve always known that” He was practically daring the elder to say otherwise.

Kimimaro nodded, “I did” He connected the dots in his head, “Your brother is in their village now?”

“As the ‘lover’ of the man we tried to kill” Ukon cringed, “I’d like to at least think he’s kept against his will, but it’s too obvious that he enjoys staying there”

“You are unhappy with this?” Kimimaro had always thought whenever he did bother thinking of the twins, that the two had been rather close. Why would Ukon not want the happiness of his younger brother?

“Of course I’m not!” Snapped Ukon, “We’re finally not that old man’s slaves anymore and he goes and finds another master!”

Kimimaro was honestly unsure how to react to that. He had never actually spoken to either of the boys before, except to threaten them or give them orders, so he didn’t know what he could say. “Does he see it that way?” He couldn’t honestly say he cared about Ukon’s problems, but being near him reminded Kimimaro of the old days, it brought back a memory of purpose.

“How the Hell should I know?!” Ukon was obviously becoming more and angrier by the second, “He chose to stay behind while I left. I haven’t talked to him since and I don’t plan to any time in the near future”

And here Kimimaro had believed Ukon to be the more reasonable of the two, “I see…” What was there to say to that? “Who were those men you were with?”

Ukon didn’t comment on the abrupt change of subject and merely answered, “I don’t know, they just thought they would be oh-so-clever to offer me money for sex and act shocked when I informed them that I was not female and not a prostitute”

“Hm,” Kimimaro stared hard at the boy, “… You do not look female though…”

“But I do look like a prostitute?” Ukon smirked at him wryly, “So what have you been doing for the past two years you were supposedly dead?”

“I have been wandering,” Answered Kimimaro, brushing some of his white hair back, “And searching for someone?”

“Orochimaru?” Ukon raised an eyebrow

Kimimaro shook his head, “He does not need me anymore, I am worthless to him” He frowned slightly and looked at Ukon, time for another subject change, “Are you hungry?”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner had been a simple, inexpensive meal of Akashiyaki and tea, eaten in a small establishment with wooden benches and tables. Kimimaro and Ukon sat side by side and stared out the window at the passing people. Both were more comfortable with this than facing each other.

“So then I ended up coming here since I thought the festival would be interesting enough” Ukon had been keeping a silence at bay by recounting his and Sakon’s adventures up to when they went separate ways. Then he told Kimimaro what he had been doing for the three months after that. Finally his tale was over, but there was still food left, “Your turn”

Kimimaro took a small breath, “I… Do not like to talk while I eat”

He smirked slightly when he felt Ukon’s displeased glare on him, “Do you have anywhere to stay tonight?”

Satiated with continuing conversation Ukon shook his head, “I just got here; I figured I’d get a place to stay when I needed it”

“You have money?”

“No” Ukon chewed on the last dumpling, “You’re paying by the way”

Kimimaro began to count out the money, “I suppose… You are welcome to stay with me”

They had once lived in close quarters together, although Orochimaru made sure to let everyone know that Kimimaro was above them. He had been given his own space, separated by a thick curtain, whereas the others were to sleep on mats on the floor. He was not too concerned with Ukon’s ability to find somewhere, he just wanted to keep the memory that Ukon’s face brought.

He would never be needed again by anyone; it was only a matter of time until he would just rot away. But now he temporarily suspended in time, it was only he and Ukon, two members of the Sound.

Ukon had taken to chewing on the edge of his cup, “I… Guess I could do that. You have two beds?”

“No, I do not” Kimimaro carefully refrained from taking offense at the way Ukon’s face fell, “If you have a problem-”

“It’s fine” Ukon stood up and brushed invisible dirt of his arms, “Let’s just go”

It had turned to night in the time that he and Ukon had munched in the restaurant, some of the festival had died down, while paper lanterns went up, lighting the streets.

Kimimaro found it vaguely comical how Ukon sneered and growled at anyone who came near him in the street. He almost wished he had gotten to know the entertaining twin years before.

They reached the inn and Kimimaro led Ukon to his room. It was simple, a twin bed, a desk and a small rug on the floor.

Ukon sat down on the bed as Kimimaro shut the door, “You shouldn’t splurge on fancy rooms,” Ukon remarked dryly, “You’ll run out of money fast”

Kimimaro sat next to him, “I didn’t expect a guest”

They sat like that for a while, side by side and staring at the far wall. It was only a large crash outside followed by some yelling that snapped Kimimaro out of his stupor. He decided to say something, “How would you have gotten money?” Would Ukon truly sell his body?

As if reading his mind Ukon glared sharply at him, “What do you think I would do?”

“…” Kimimaro figured it was a rhetorical question so he only stared at the younger boy silently.

Ukon rolled his eyes, “You always were a pain in the ass. I would have stolen it”

Kimimaro shifted one of his legs up onto the bed so that he could face Ukon, “I had been wondering if you would sleep with someone for money”

Ukon arched an eyebrow, “Were you now? Are you interested?”

‘Interested’? Kimimaro had not meant it like that, he had never thought of anyone like that, contrary to popular belief that he slept with Orochimaru. He eyed Ukon up and down, by normal standards we has sure that both of them were attractive people, and while Ukon had a bit of an attitude moment Kimimaro hadn’t encountered a dull moment since running into him… “Is that an offer?”

The twin smirked and scooted further back onto the bed, keeping his legs straight so that his feet still hung off the side, “Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. No, I’m not the type to sleep with just anyone, in fact I haven’t. But I’m sure even if I said no and you wanted it then you could just overpower me”

It was almost a challenge to fight but Kimimaro didn’t bother rising to it, “I meant nothing sexual, but if you wanted to do something then I would not be opposed”

“Don’t do me any favors” Ukon flicked some of his hair back, “I don’t suppose you have anything else to wear…?”

Kimimaro pointed down, “I have a few things,” He reached under the bed and pulled out a small traveling bag and pulled out a long, sleeping shirt, “You may wear this”

Ukon took it and moved to the far side of the room behind Kimimaro. Unfazed the Kaguya stood up and began to remove his own clothes. He didn’t mind sleeping in only his boxers; he supposed Ukon did not have any.

He turned and pulled the blanket back as Ukon, who had easily dressed for bed, folded his yukata up and placed is on the desk. Kimimaro lay down and stared at Ukon as he did the same. They had not bothered to turn on the lamp on the far side of the room, so the only light was coming in through the window.

Because the bed was small Kimimaro felt Ukon push close beside him before turning on his side and falling still. Kimimaro stayed on his back and stared at the ceiling, what to do in the morning? Stay and enjoy the happy scene of the festival and hope his walking memory would stay with him? Or move on?

He wondered how Orochimaru was, the twins were in the inner circle so the information they could have given the Sand could be devastating. There was nothing he could really do about it though; he had no idea where to find… Anyone.

After a moment he felt Ukon shifting next to him and he turned his head to regard the other’s stare, “What is it?”

Ukon tilted his head to the side, “… You know… I wouldn’t be opposed either” Kimimaro knew immediately what he meant but allowed Ukon to continue, “We should… Do it sometime I mean. It would be interesting”

Kimimaro was slightly bewildered but he nodded, “Yes, it would”

Despite the suggestive words he and Ukon had gone to sleep without incident.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Never before had Kimimaro slept in a bed with another person, never before had he woken up to warm breath puffing against his neck and shoulder. He shifted, turning his head to the side; he had fallen asleep on his back, and raised an eyebrow at the body slumbering beside him.

He started to sit up but thought better of it as Ukon flinched at the movement. He reclined back into the cheap, lumpy pillow and stared at the younger boy scrupulously as the light of the morning sun illuminated the room.

Kimimaro had to admit to himself, despite Ukon’s rather abrasive personality, he had a delicate sort of beauty like a white rose petal fluttering in the wind. It was something that he had never thought to admire before, but now he couldn’t help but notice.

Suddenly his body seized up: a lone flower…

He gently brushed some of Ukon’s silver hair away from his face, “… Why are you blooming here?” Why of all the places in the world had Ukon ended up in the same small village as him?

So small and frail, yet beautiful…

Although he had spoken out loud Ukon remained asleep, snoring gently against the pillow, completely unaware of Kimimaro’s hardening glare, “Why won’t you answer me?”

Ukon frowned at the noise, but consciousness evaded him still. He pushed his face into the pillow and began to relax yet again. Kimimaro on the other hand tensed, it was the same… Ukon was just like a flower, “You’re going to ignore me too?”

The last time he had this conversation with a flower, he had been ready to destroy it for its insolence, but Orochimaru had stopped him. What for? So he could live a life, working hard to help achieve Orochimaru’s dreams? So he could he could seek out a purpose in life? In the end it had been useless… He had been useless…

Kimimaro’s hands tightened into fists as he glared icily at Ukon. The boy was the one who brought these memories, so they could leave with him. What would it matter if he took another life? “It’s not like anyone else will see us here”

“What?” Ukon’s groggy voice broke the haze of anger and reminiscence that had begun to coil around Kimimaro’s mind.

Kimimaro looked down at Ukon who was blinking up at him with bleary eyes, “Did you want something?”

“… I-” Kimimaro closed his mouth, it wouldn’t do to start talking with no explanation in mind. He stared at Ukon who was beginning to look more and more annoyed by the second, “I was thinking”

“You were talking” Said Ukon flatly, “I could hear you in my sleep” He sat up and stretched his back which made a loud pop that caused him to cringe. Kimimaro sat up as well and he began to push the blanket away when he felt a hand stopping him.

He looked over at the younger ninja with a questioning gaze, “What is it?”

Ukon pulled the blanket back up, “It’s too cold, you woke up too early” He flopped back onto the bed, pulling the blanket with him, “Lay down”

“It can’t be any earlier than nine,” Said Kimimaro even as he rested beside Ukon, facing him rather than the ceiling.

Ukon shrugged and faced Kimimaro, “I get up when I want to, though you’re welcome to leave”

Kimimaro only responded by pushing some of Ukon’s hair back a gain, “You shouldn’t keep your hair in your face, it hinders your eyesight” He tucked the silver locks behind Ukon ear.

“My hair and eyesight are just peachy, thank you” Ukon batted Kimimaro’s hand away but left his hair back, “Have you ever thought of doing anything different with yours? It looks like it just got longer”

“It did” Kimimaro fiddled with the edge of his hair, “But it is still more different than yours” He smirked at Ukon, “You look exactly the same”

Ukon hissed at him, “I’ll have you know I’m taller- Oh no freakin’ way!” He sat up abruptly, “We are not going to start chatting about the way we look” He placed his hand on Kimimaro’s stomach to hold him down when he tried to sit up as well, “Not getting up yet”

Kimimaro raised an eyebrow; “You seem awake to me” He shifted under the hand, it tickled slightly. Kimimaro’s gaze traveled up Ukon’s arm to his face. The younger boy was staring back at him just as intently.

Their eyes connected briefly before Kimimaro pushed Ukon’s hand away and sat up as well, “I will be moving on from this place tonight,” He said as he stood up and began to pull on his clothes.

Ukon frowned and crossed his arms, “I see,” He glared at Kimimaro, “Well, it was… Something”

Kimimaro faced Ukon, fully dressed and tilted his head to the side, “Is something the matter?” It was very small, but some part of him wanted Ukon to be disappointed, it would mean that someone wanted him.

“No! I’m just annoyed that my meal ticket decided to leave” Ukon stared hard at him but Kimimaro merely went to the door to put on his shoes. Behind him Ukon puffed at the hair he had moved into his face again, “You’re a lot different now” He said after a pause, “… Two years ago you would have beaten me unconscious for that”

“Possibly…” Kimimaro walked to the side of the bed and gripped Ukon’s upper arm, “It’s time to get up; I am checking out of this establishment and I am sure the manager would like to clean up his room” He pulled the younger ninja off the bed, forcing him to stand as well.

Ukon growled and tugged at his arm, “Alright, alright! Geez if you want me gone so much just say so!” He stomped over to the desk, pulling the nightshirt off and throwing it on the ground as he went. Kimimaro shook his head and began to gather his few things while Ukon dressed himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Despite Ukon acting as though Kimimaro had been trying to chase him away, the dainty ninja continued to follow him long out of the village. The silence between them went unnoticed by Kimimaro as his thoughts distracted him from his surroundings.

He wouldn’t go so far as to say he was glad that Ukon decided to follow him, but he was a bit relieved. Through many trains of thought, Kimimaro decided it was possible that Ukon was the best person for him to run into. Sakon had almost always been the one Kimimaro had seen face to face of the twins, so the effect of seeing someone from his past would have been far stronger. With Ukon, who had usually been asleep inside his younger twin, it was like encountering a familiar smell that gave one a brief wistful feeling.

It wasn’t overbearing like it would have been with anyone else from the Sound Five.

He paused in his thoughts, “… You and Sakon were always counted as one person” He murmured over his shoulder to Ukon who had been staring up at the sky with the grimace that was only found on him and his brother.

Ukon glared at him sourly, “Yeah, I know” He jerked his head to stare pointedly at the sky, obviously being counted as only half a person had annoyed him.

Kimimaro looked ahead again, “I wonder why that is…”

“Orochimaru didn’t think ‘Sound Six’ rolled off the tongue easily enough,” Muttered Ukon, keeping his face perfectly straight, “So he said since Sakon and I were twins we would have to count as the same person”

Kimimaro frowned in puzzlement at Ukon until the younger boy noticed him and snorted, “I was kidding!”

“… Oh,” Kimimaro wasn’t used to people saying anything jokingly around him; otherwise he probably would have caught the sarcasm, “So you never knew either?”

“Why the Hell would I know? I ask any question at all, it gets me an ass kicking from you” Ukon stopped walking, “Done? Great, I don’t want to talk about back then”

Kimimaro stopped as well and stared at the smaller boy, “You’re still angry about that?”

“I’m getting angry because you keep bringing it up! God, what the Hell is wrong with you?!”

Ukon’s shoulders were tense and shaking as a thought occurred to Kimimaro, “You don’t want to talk about your brother”

The molten glare he received was answer enough and Kimimaro let the subject drop, “did you have any destination in mind? I usually wander from place to place so nowhere is out of the way”

“How generous” Ukon’s voice was dripping with sarcasm which showed he wasn’t completely over being irritated. But he kept walking after shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t care where we go either, as long as we don’t have to sleep outside”

Kimimaro followed after him with a small frown, “You have spoiled yourself these past couple of years”

“I never wanted to be a ninja, you know,” Ukon scowled at the older male over his shoulder, “I—We just-” He huffed and faced forward again, “Nevermind, I’m not sleeping on the ground”

“Very well; we should hurry along since neither of us knows where the next village is”

Ukon nodded and kept walking, this time, Kimimaro was able to endure the silence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Corvin: Well, I hope everyone liked it o: