A Walk in His Shoes

 A/N Beta Moodysavage here posting this for Timber who obviously forgot her username on here isn't Timber lol. Hope you enjoy this. It's a first story and on the angsty side but I happen to like those! Please don't forget to rate if you like it and words of encouragement in the review are like GOLD as all authors can tell you. So feel free to drop a line on what you thought! :)

A Walk In His Shoes By Timberwolf

“Bastard! You have no idea what it’s like to be me!” Naruto screamed at Sasuke. “What I have to go trough every freakin day of my life! I don’t have it easy like you!”

His whole body was rigid and trembling from the emotions he was feeling. Full lips pulled back to reveal gleaming white teeth that proceeded to grind against each other with enough force that Sasuke vaguely wondered if Naruto’s teeth would crack under the pressure. The very sound of them grinding together was quickly getting on his nerves.

Sasuke examined Naruto thoroughly. His gaze deliberately skimming over bright as the sun spiked hair, down past stiff shoulders, down his arms to watch quietly as his hands clenched and unclenched only to repeat the process again. Sasuke glanced up to stop and stare into eyes so blue that they put the sky on a clear and bright sunny day to shame. He rather enjoyed the sparks snapping at him from sapphire depths and had to suppress a smirk. For some odd reason he sensed a response like that from him would only enflame Naruto even more. Though for the life of him Sasuke had no idea what he was so worked up about.

Black focused on blue and Sasuke’s breathe caught. He read so much pain in Naruto’s expressive eyes. It was like reading an open book for the entire world to see. He’d never had any skill in hiding or suppressing his feelings. They radiated off of him, never once leaving a person in doubt as to what he was thinking or feeling. So different from himself that Sasuke couldn’t even begin to imagine what that was like nor would he ever want to be that obvious to those around him.

Sasuke much preferred his unreadable mask that kept everyone away from him. Who would ever want to be read by everyone around them? Sasuke preferred to keep the workings of his mind to himself. Emotions and feelings, other then revenge, had no place in his life. They were useless to him, more like an unwanted burden that he had discarded a long time ago. He had what he needed. Strength of purpose and an obsession to do anything and everything in order to achieve his goals. He would kill his brother and he would rebuild his clan. There would be no rest for him until this was accomplished.

Only then could he…..

Sasuke paused as he felt his mind freeze as if his thoughts were caught and not allowed to move on. Only then could he what? He tried to focus on what was causing his mind to totally shut down on him. Kill Itachi… alright he could do that with certainty. Rebuild his clan…

He was shocked to realize the thought of rebuilding his clan left him in a black empty void of nothing. As if he’d walked off a cliff into cold useless space. Why? Because he had given no thought as to how he would rebuild his clan. Who would he rebuild his clan with? He couldn’t picture a single girl he felt measured up to the standards of the Uchiha clan. The realization that he had no particular interest in any of the girls from his own village hadn’t disturbed him. He had always thought his lack of interest was due to his first goal over killing Itachi, that it over shadowed everything else thus leaving no room for interest of the more personal physical kind to creep into his heart.

All these thoughts flashed through Sasuke’s mind in seconds while he was silently observing Naruto.

Naruto, however, was also observing Sasuke.

Naruto carefully regarded his teammate as they stood facing each other on the training field. He was so angry and hurt over Sasuke’s latest insult. They had been fighting and pushing each other to their limits like they always did when they had paused for a break. Naruto had invited Sasuke over to his house for ramen only to have Sasuke insult him and his pathetic eating habits. Getting told that to his face hurt more than it should have. Naruto lashed out verbally at Sasuke before he could even stop himself. Now he feared his outburst would make Sasuke look down on him even more then usual. His day had started out awful but had gotten better due to his session with Sasuke. Physical exertion always helped to clear his mind and free him from the emotional, psychological, physical, and personal issues he had to deal with on a daily basis. Sasuke could always be counted on to lift his spirits up and set him back on track with a sharp kunai or shuriken thrown his way.

This morning he had gotten up early to do some much needed shopping since he was out of his life’s staple of ramen. After getting dressed he made a quick stop at Ichiraku’s, his favorite ramen shop, for a steaming bowl of his favorite flavor of ramen. Naruto then went into the largest shop in town thinking to buy up most if not all of their ramen stock to fill up his cupboards. He walked in and picked up a large basket to put in the items he needed to buy.

He always tried to shop as quickly as possible. Get in and get out was his mode of operation. He ignored the other customers and employees around him. They were all the same in how they talked about him and treated him. Cold stares and whispers, loud comments and complaints about his very presence or existence depending on each person or group he passed. Single individuals were less of a threat. It was the groups of people clustered together he had to look out for. They were bolder in their vocalization of threats and taunts directed towards him. These were the ones that could generally get worked up to do something physical towards Naruto since they had an audience to egg them on.

Naruto hated to shop but had to out of necessity. It wasn’t as if he had anyone else to do it for him.  It wasn’t like it was something new because he had lived alone and had grown up knowing that he needed to depend on himself. He didn’t have someone to take care of him when he was sick or give him encouragement when he was down. There was no one there to give him an embrace or love. He immediately buried this thought under layers of mental rock in an attempt to suppress the pain it caused him. He could not afford to let his mind dwell on how very much alone he was in the world. It wasn’t like it was something new because he had always been alone.

The other villagers were very clear about how almost every one of them, from the very old down to small children, felt an extreme hatred towards him, which was very hard on Naruto. He could deal with the old people and adults that despised him but when many of their children that they had raised to hate him expressed those same feelings of hate, it just broke Naruto’s heart.

He loved children and enjoyed being around them. His friendship with Konohamaru and his two sidekicks just made his day brighter. He enjoyed their ninja games and supposed training which usually left them laughing and completely wiped out. Naruto totally enjoyed the attention he received from Konohamaru especially since he was so vocal about looking up to him. He could see and feel the respect and none of the hatred he was used to seeing in children’s eyes. Naruto valued their friendship.

“IT’S…. here again.”

“Monster” an old man spits the word out and shakes his cane in the air.

“Mommy…..look……there he is.” The mother quickly grabs child and moves to check out.

“What’s he doing here?”

 “Why do they let him walk free?”

“They should just lock him up.”

“He doesn’t deserve to be around normal people.”

“How can this shop let that thing in here?” an old woman turns to the shop owner and glares at him.

“We don’t have a choice in the matter; the Third Hokage’s standing orders are to allow him to remain free and to shop here as well.” Says the shop owner fidgeting under the displeasure of his older customers.

“It shouldn’t even be allowed to live!”

“Such an abomination!”

“Murderer”

“How can they allow that thing to have ninja training? He going to kill us all in our sleep someday just you wait.”

He was so sick of all of this. Naruto could feel the cold stares trained on his back and hear the whispers. The hostility fell heavy on his shoulders and he had to fight the urge to let his shoulders sag under the weight. He felt suffocated like the air was contaminated from the amount of hate saturating it. He would never give in and let them see just how much pain they were causing him.

 Naruto kept his head down looking over the fresh fruits and vegetables that lined the walls. It was hard to even pick out food when his stomach was so soured by the intense feelings he was busy fighting to suppress. The food no longer looked good and any pleasant smell was lost due to the tightening in his nose to keep back the tingle he felt that signaled the threat of tears. He would not cry! They could never see him cry! No matter that his heart was breaking and the tears that fell in his heart could very well drown his inner demon at the amount of them. This thought caused Naruto to chuckle at the absurdity of his own thoughts. No wonder the demon called him Kit and baka. Mental tears posed no threat to the demon they just served to give him something to tease Naruto about. Which was Kyuubi’s favorite pastime. That or to use them to get Naruto to finally snap and go off on someone in the form of destruction and mayhem. That would totally make Kyuubi’s day.

…………………………………………

Flashback of the past

Kyuubi when he was first trapped inside of Naruto all those years ago had hated and despised Naruto with such intensity that it would have had the world trembling in fear if he had not been contained. The only one he hated more than Naruto had been that despicable man who was responsible for his imprisonment in the first place. Minato Namikaze, Kyuubi hissed at the thought, the Forth Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, just had him foaming at the mouth. Sharp teeth gleamed as the Fox grinned in his hatred and bloodlust over what he wished he could do to the man he hated.

He couldn’t believe how completely and effectively he had been contained in this tiny body. The great Nine Tailed Fox buried in the belly of a tiny crying baby that couldn’t even hear him scream in rage at him. Not that the baby would have even understood if he had heard his voice.

The seal kept him locked tight behind steel bars at the end of a large stone room that was dimly lit by torches that lined the walls. The air was heavy and warm like some of the jungles the Fox had run through during his long lifetime. How he longed for his freedom once again. Kyuubi spent years trying everything in his power to break free from his prison. After a time when that didn’t work Kyuubi then fought to get the attention of the baby turned boy to see if there was a way to use him to gain his freedom once again.

There had been times during Naruto’s life when Kyuubi would catch a glimpse of what was happening to Naruto. Usually when Naruto was really worn down or emotionally pushed to his limits Kyuubi could feel him turning inward for the strength to go on and was unconsciously drawing from Kyuubi’s own presence inside of himself. He didn’t think Naruto was aware of him yet. The feeling he got was that on a deep spiritual level Naruto was starting to sense him and   Naruto was seeking out some small sense of comfort.

When Kyuubi reached out with his senses he learned he could feel some of the strong emotions Naruto was feeling. They had to be pretty intense to be felt by him though, like extreme anger or paralyzing fear or sometimes such intense loneliness and sadness that it felt like he was dying inside spiritually.

Kyuubi knew many years had passed and felt that somehow he and Naruto had grown more in tune to each other. The seal was still firmly in place and as impossible to escape as it had been when it was first made. The difference now though was an awareness of the other which had gotten more pronounced as time passed.

Kyuubi was shocked the first time he woke up and found a sleeping Naruto outside of his prison. The anger and hatred consumed him as he looked over the form of the boy who was the mirror image of the man who had banished him to this cell so long ago. Kyuubi felt his nine tails whipping about his cell, felt the hairs on his body stand up and his ears twitch with irritation. The Fox’s red eyes glowed and narrowed at the small boy with golden spiky hair.

He moved as close to the bars as he could and reached a paw through while extending a claw to touch the sleeping form. Just as his claws reached the boy, said boy rolled towards the Fox and whimpered in his sleep as tears silently fell from his eyes. Lips wordlessly moved as if in too much pain to actually voice in words just how much misery he was in. Kyuubi’s eyes widened as he noticed three scars on both of the boys tan cheeks. He gave a deep chuckle to see how much of a fox’s kit the boy looked like.

Then Kyuubi noticed the cuts and bruised that ran up the boys arms and legs. He watched as they healed. While they healed he felt some of his own power being pulled from him. This feeling he was very familiar with as it was something he had felt on a daily basis for many years. But he had had no idea what the power being drawn away from him was for. Now with shock he knew what purpose it was getting pulled for, the boy was hurt and Kyuubi’s own chakra was healing him without thought.  This must have something to do with how he was sealed inside of the boy. Kyuubi realized they were so tied together that if the boy died then he would most likely die too. He had hoped that if the boy ever died then he would be freed but this just proved to him that that would not be the case.

The reasons why the child was so obviously injured and had suffered such many times in his young life were not too hard for the demon fox to figure out. Just as he hated the boy for being his prison so too would narrow minded humans hate him for being the Kyuubi container, regardless of the fact that the child had no control over such a decision or voice to give exception to the life long sentence he was destined to live from the moment of his birth. Kyuubi couldn’t reason out what the blond man had been thinking to place such a burden on his own son. The fact it was his son was so obvious from the vibrant blond hair so full of life like the sun on a hot summer day. Yet he had and died for the sealing in the process thus leaving his son alone, unprotected, uncared for and unloved as far as Kyuubi could see. For who would allow such treatment to one so young if they loved and cared for them? No he was as alone in the world as Kyuubi had found himself to be once the other tailed demons had been sealed in other hosts before him.

Kyuubi looked over the tired boy and saw he was finally healed and resting peacefully. Carefully Kyuubi pulled the boy closer to the bars and then allowed his tails to slip through them and wrap warmly around the sleeping boy. The boy sighed in contentment and burrowed his tan face into the soft red fur. Tan hands buried themselves into the fur and flexed in them seeming to enjoy the soft silky feel of each red strand. With his massive head resting on his paws Kyuubi closely watched the boy next to him and thought about his own existence and what the future held for them both. It seemed like his solitary confinement was no longer so solitary. It appeared the boy needed him as much as Kyuubi’s survival required him in return. Would this new discovery give a deeper meaning to his existence and something to look forward to in the future? Only time would tell.

***

“He’s a danger to the village and everyone in it.”

“Pathetic loser.”

“Look at the headband. What right does he have to wear it?

 “How can they make that thing a ninja?”

 “What are they thinking?”

“I don’t want him near my family and it’s a joke to think of him protecting us.”

“We are expected to trust him? Him?”

 

Naruto thought back to the times before when he had heard such comments and hadn’t understood the meaning behind them. Gone were the days he chalked it up to being an orphan and poor as reasons to justify his treatment by them and the coldness in their eyes that would freeze his very soul. He no longer lived in ignorance to the reasons but knowing the truth didn’t change anything for him, their hate filled, poisonous words and violence would only continue for they could never see past the demon inside of him to see into his heart and soul nor look at him for who he really was. No they would never see Naruto himself, he would always be without existence in their eyes. The demon fox was all they would acknowledge and all they would ever see in him.  Finally Naruto had heard enough. Shaking and trying desperately to hold onto his temper. He quickly performed the hand signs and brought forth four clones. He then sent them all off in different directions to help him collect every thing he needed to buy. They would also help him carry it all home.

***

Naruto inhaled a deep breath, held it and finally released it in a long sigh.

Sasuke looked up and his onyx eyes locked onto sapphire blue that looked more tired than they usually did. He noted how shoulders sagged under more pressure then the hours of training they had just gone through should have caused. He noticed that the normally vibrant eyes that sparked with life seemed hollow and oddly distant. Everything seemed so out of place on Naruto that it caused Sasuke to momentarily blink in surprise. Where had the loud mouth full of life and challenge gone? Where did the Naruto he was so used to seeing and spending time with go?

Sasuke couldn’t understand his reaction. All he had said to Naruto after their training had ended was that his eating habits were pathetic. Which was a statement of fact as far as Sasuke was concerned. Naruto’s diet of mainly ramen wasn’t healthy in any sense of the word. How Naruto seemed so healthy and strong was a complete mystery. Since his diet was so lacking in variety that Sasuke had always wondered how he heart hadn’t given out due to all the sodium he consumed and wasn’t over weight due to the shear volume of ramen he ate on a daily basis.

Besides, was what he said really something to get so worked up about?

“Hn. Dobe?”

Sasuke whose face was usually expressionless actually frowned at Naruto and stood watching him expectantly.

“What is your problem?” A dark brow arched to emphasize the question.

“Teme…” Naruto ran his fingers through his hair causing the blond spikes to stick out even more then usual and gave a dry humorless laugh. Naruto smiled though the smile never reached his eyes.

“Um… I’m sorry. It’s just been one of those days…I shouldn’t be ripping your head off over it. That was really childish of me...I’m sorry...” Naruto said with a mocking laugh that seemed directed at himself.

Sapphire eyes looked everywhere, not really focusing on anything in an obvious attempt to avoid looking at Sasuke. A twitch tried to tug the normally grinning full lips into a pronounced frown. Yet Naruto fought it by pressing his lips together, but even that couldn’t hide how they trembled.

“I’m going to take off. There are things I have to do. Thanks Sasuke for the session and I’ll see you here tomorrow. Thanks”

Then he was gone.

“Dobe”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes deep in thought. After a moments hesitation Sasuke took off after Naruto.

TBC